Despite his heartbreak, horrid insomnia, and the sense he was going somewhat mad, Lionel carried on for the next week. During drill sessions, he would not look at nor speak to Daniel, and Daniel ignored him right back. It was for the best, because if they exchanged words, Lionel knew they’d end up exchanging punches, too. Lionel remained on the lookout for so much as a smirk from Daniel, yet that never happened. If anything, Daniel seemed cowed and embarrassed around Lionel. That probably meant Daniel felt sorry for Lionel, and Lionel could not stand the thought.
For the most part, Lionel’s men remained cold and aloof toward him ever since the incident with Alis. Even Perceval and Gawain remained distant, though Merlin and Ulrich remained …show more content…
Families with children seemed to be out in full force today, enjoying the autumn sunshine. Little ones held their fathers’ hands and gazed up at them adoringly. Husbands wrapped their arms around their wives’ waists and guided them along with tender care. Lionel had enough of witnessing these episodes of marital contentment when he spotted Alis and Daniel sitting beneath the shade of a tree, snacking on berries. Lionel had done everything possible to avoid seeing these two together since he spotted them at the rock wall a week ago, but there they sat, a picture of courting bliss. Lionel had not heard word that they were officially courting, but he assumed so.
The intelligent move would have been to leave, but instead, Lionel ducked behind an abandoned merchant’s stall and watched, hiding like a common thief. Peeking from his hiding spot, he saw Daniel feed Alis a berry, then tenderly wipe away the juice that stained her bottom lip. The look in Daniel’s eyes, that of love, stole Lionel’s breath. Lionel was familiar with such an affectionate gaze, because he’d looked at Alis in the same way. It took every bit of Lionel’s resolve to not rush from the stall, smash the berries into Daniel’s face and then snap his …show more content…
“How do you carry on with life after you lost your arm, and with such dignity?”
Ulrich tossed back his head and laughed, but he never stopped bouncing Anna. “Dignity, you say? Lionel, did you forget I ran off, left Carina and the kingdom? That Merlin all but dragged me back? I was this close to total madness, and I thought about doing myself in.”
“What stopped you? I’m sorry to be so forward, but I need your help.”
“I let Carina in. I didn’t hide what I was going through. I allowed her to see what I thought was ugly and horrifying, and I’m not talking about my injury. I told her my thoughts. She listened and told me she loved me, and that was all I needed. She still does that for me.”
“But you never seem… off. I like I do.”
“Lionel, you never seem ‘off’ to any of us. Morse at times, but who isn’t? What’s going on in your mind feels far worse than it looks to others.”
That solution seemed to simple to Lionel, allowing the woman you loved to see the real you, to express the ugly, mad thoughts. But Ulrich had no reason to lie. And here Ulrich sat, a small smile curving his lips as he gazed at his infant daughter. He might not have conquered all the beasts that plagued his mind, but he seemed truly