ADMN 233

Assignment 2 Template

Assignment 2 Instructions

Assignment 2 is worth 15% of your final mark. It should be completed and submitted after you finish Chapter 7 in your textbook.

This assignment is divided into three parts, corresponding to the 3-x-3 writing process described in Unit 2 (Chapters 5 to 7) of your textbook. You will complete three activities in each part of this assignment.

Part 1: Prewriting (30 marks)
Activity A – Analyze a task
Activity B – Anticipate an audience’s needs
Activity C – Adapt your message to your audience and its needs

Part 2: Writing (30 marks)
Activity A – Research a topic and generate ideas
Activity B – Organize ideas into a coherent text structure
Activity C – Compose a first draft

Part 3: Revising (40 marks)
Activity A – Evaluate a text
Activity B – Organize a text
Activity C – Revise a text

General Instructions

The writing tasks you will complete in this assignment are based on real-world scenarios that describe a variety of situations.

1. Read every activity and scenario carefully in order to understand the problems that the characters encounter and the actions that they take.

2. Complete all three activities for each part in sequence.

Limit your answers to a maximum of one sentence per mark, unless otherwise instructed. For example, if a question is worth three marks, ensure that you write three complete sentences.

3. Decide what information is important for your reader to know and what is not. You may need to invent additional facts that you consider important to communicate to your reader.

4. Reorganize this information to communicate it to a reader in a clearer and more efficient way.

5. Integrate the lessons you have learned as you complete this assignment.

Review the following pages in the Welcome and Orientation section of this course Web site before you complete this assignment:

▪ Marking Guide

▪ Questions of Style

▪ Applying the 3-x-3 Writing Process

Plagiarism

Plagiarism is submitting or presenting someone else's work as your own. It includes copying words from an assignment you wrote in this course into a new assignment; copying your instructor’s comments and presenting them as your own; and copying headings, outlines, sentences, paragraphs, tables, and graphics without permission or citation.

Plagiarizing someone else's writing is not allowed at Athabasca University. For information about plagiarism and intellectual honesty, consult the following page from the Athabasca University Calendar: http://www.athabascau.ca/studserv/inthonesty.htm.

ADMN 233 markers use anti-plagiarism software. The consequences for plagiarism and academic misconduct are severe. If you are caught plagiarizing someone else’s text, you will obtain a zero on this assignment. A letter describing this offence will be appended to your student record. You risk being suspended or expelled from Athabasca University.

Part 1 Prewriting (Questions 1 to 11) 30 marks

Refer as needed to material in Chapter 5 of your textbook. Read the instructions for each activity. Answer all questions clearly and concisely. If possible, include examples to highlight your comments.

Activity A – Analyze a task

Questions/Tasks

1. What is David’s primary purpose in sending a message to his reader? (Refer to page 95 in your textbook.) Support your answer with an explanation. (2 marks)

The primary purpose of David’s message he is sending to his reader is to inform the customer that his company will not honor customer’s claim. A business message primary is to either to inform or persuade; in this case its purpose is to inform.

2. What is the secondary purpose of David’s message? (Refer to pages 95 and 96 in your textbook.) Support your answer with an explanation. (2 marks)

The secondary purpose of any business message is to promote goodwill. David wants his company to look good in the eyes of the customer, even though they’re denying the customers claim.

3. Which channel (e.g., phone call, e-mail, or letter) is best suited to communicate this type of message? Explain your answer. Consult Figure 5.2 Choosing Communication Channels on page 97 in your textbook. (2 marks)

The best way to communicate this type of message would be to give the customer a phone call. The reason being, it allows for the customer to know quickly, you can’t meet him in person, and nonverbal cues do not matter. Although a phone call could seem impersonal, it still allows you to use verbal cues and express that “you’re sorry” to the customer.

Activity B – Anticipate an audience’s needs

Questions/Tasks

4. Who is (are) the primary reader(s) targeted by this memo? Refer to Figure 5.3 Asking the Right Questions to Profile Your Audience on page 98 in your textbook to provide an explanation. (1 mark)

The primary reader targeted by this memo is Patricia Irving. The reason she is the primary reader is because she is the one that asked for the memo, and the other readers listed, are simply being sent copies of this memo.

5. Describe your professional relationship with your primary reader(s). Refer again to Figure 5.3 on page 98 of your textbook. (1 mark)

I don’t have a professional relationship with the primary reader, except though my boss; Victor.

6. Given your answer to question 5, what tone should your memo convey? Support your answer with examples. Refer to pages 98 and 99 in your textbook. (2 mark)

The tone I would like the memo to convey is a friendly, professional, and a positive manner. Also, other things to try and accomplish are: spotlighting receiver benefits, avoid gender, racial, age and disability bias. Always be courteous and use words that the receiver is familiar with. Creating the “you” view is also an important concept.

Ex. Would you please reply to the memo by Tuesday. (Example of a positive tone)

7. In your opinion, how knowledgeable is (are) the primary reader(s) about the subject of the memo? Explain. Think about your readers’ knowledge of computer products, accounting systems, and information management prior to sending your memo. (2 marks)

The primary reader is decently knowledgeable on subject of the memo. She could have some knowledge on accounting systems, as she/her company have used an accounting system in the past. I would still give her a general idea on how accounting systems work and how computer products are integral part of that. Then, be very specific on how our product works compared to other companies or compared to their existing system.

8. Should you expect a negative response, a positive response, or a neutral response from your primary reader(s)? (2 marks)

I would be excepting a neutral response from our primary readers, because they’re most likely entertaining multiple sales pitches to their company about accounting software packages. They will have to make a decision after seeing all of the pitches, and this could take more than one piece of information being sent.

9. Identify your secondary readers and describe their specific information needs. (3 marks)

My secondary readers would be the people I’m sending copies of this memo to, who are: Jason Tucker, Barber Miller, and to a group of Wascana investors. Jason Tuckers specific information needs are going to be a lot more technical regarding our product, as he is an accountant, and is a certified network analyst. Barbara Miller’s specific information needs are to see her product and company both represented well in the memo. As for the group of Wascana investors, they’ll like to see numbers such as: how much it is going to cost them to implement and operate.

Activity C – Adapt your message to your audience and its needs

Questions/Tasks

10. What problems should you address in order to make the language of the above memo clearer? Select these from the Checklist for Adapting a Message to Its Audience on page 104 of the textbook. Be specific and support your answers. (3 marks)

The primary purpose needs to be a little clearer, by possibly mentioning that the rules and procedures are changing first, then explanations on why. The secondary purpose which is generally to promote goodwill isn’t there. The management isn’t trying to make themselves look good in the eyes of their employees, which is a mistake. The message needs to be more receiver focused and strive for a more conversational but still professional tone. The memo could lose some of the more technical terms, such as: termination or acquiesce.

11. Rewrite your manager’s memo. Think about how expressing yourself positively, courteously, simply, precisely, vigorously, and in a conversational tone will affect your readers’ responses. Refer to pages 101 to 104 in your textbook. (10 marks)

Date: Feb. 17, 2010 To: All employees From: Management Subject: Poor Working Practices

A new list of mandatory rules has been posted outside the main doors in Shop A, as you may have noticed. All of you are to follow these new rules and practices, please. This will guarantee safety of both your equipment and yourselves.

The reason behind posting these rules is because, it’s come to our attention that many of you are without care using shortcut practices that are, going to result in damage and expense to company, and worst of all, perhaps even injury to you.

Failure to adjust to these new rules will be cause for immediate unemployment.

The Management

For Marker’s Use:

Part 1 Subtotal: /30

Part 2 Writing (Questions 12 to 19) 30 marks

Refer as needed to material in Chapters 6 and 7 of your textbook. Read the instructions for each activity. Answer all questions clearly and concisely. If possible, include examples to highlight your comments.

Activity A – Research a topic and generate ideas

Questions/Tasks

12. Supply three specific examples of the kind of information Mary could gather using formal research methods. Refer to pages 112 to 113 in your textbook. Include the specific formal research methods you would use to obtain this information. (3 marks)

The kind of information Mary could gather using formal research methods are: private information on Viscount Hydro Inc, this could be accessed electronically via the internet; she needs background information on the company detailing what they’ve done in the past, by using manual research in public or institutional libraries; Lastly, she could develop firsthand, primary information for her project by going directly to Viscount Hydro Inc, she could conduct interviews or questionnaires.

13. Supply three specific examples of the kind of information Mary could gather using informal research methods Refer to page 113 in your textbook. Include the specific informal research methods you would use to obtain this information. (3 marks)

Mary could gather information about what the kids are looking forward to about the kits and what should be included in them. The kids are the target audience and should be interviewed. Mary could look up additional information on the company, by using files that her company may have on them from previous work encounters. This will help you with not only content but your format of your message. Another informal research method she could use is talking with her boss/coworkers. They’d be able to provide knowledge on the topic, the slant Mary should take and possibly provide additional sources.

Activity B – Organize ideas into a coherent text structure

Questions/Tasks

14. Help Gino organize the topics presented in Scenario 5. Create an alphanumeric or decimal outline for the human resources manual to organize this information logically (i.e., major title, major component, subpoints). Review outlining formats on pages 114 to 118 in your textbook, especially Figure 6.3 Two Outlining Formats on page 117. (8 marks)

Human Resources Manual: Inform employees on the uniform policies.

I. Employee recruitment and selection

A. Reference checks

1. Parking restrictions

B. Performance reviews

1. Salary reviews

II. Pay Scale

A. Overtime pay

1. Maximum work hours per week for salaried staff

2. Maximum works per week for hourly staff

B. Holiday Pay

III. Verbal abuse policy

A. Workplace language

1. Sexual harassment

IV. Long-term disability program

A. Healthcare insurance

1. Accident death and dismemberment insurance

B. Sick Leave

V. Conflict of interest policy

A. Unexcused absences

1. Personal telephone calls

B. Dress and appearance

1. Smoking the workplace

2. Drugs and alcohol

VI. Pension plan

A. Saving bonds purchase program

VII. Administrative leave

A. Jury duty leave

1. Vacation leave

2. Bereavement leave

VIII. Disciplinary policy and procedure

A. Dismissal/termination

1. Resignation

2. Exit interviews

15. Explain and support your reasons for organizing the outline as you did. Address each of the following elements of an outline: sequence, title, major components, and subpoints. (4 marks)

The reason I’ve set up the outline this way is because most of the topics are hard to group up to one major idea and they need to be more broken down into different components. I found a lot of these topics don’t relate to one another. Now, I started by listing the more intriguing things to an employee or a future employee. Which include: pay and benefits etc. and listed the topics that most people would skim past the end.

Activity C – Compose a first draft

Questions/Tasks

Refer to pages 121 to 129 in your textbook to complete the following tasks.

16. Clearly, Frida’s draft memo needs to be improved. Find two examples of long sentences that should be divided into shorter ones. Copy these sentences and then rewrite them, explaining how you can make each one clearer by shortening it. Clearly label your work under the headings of Original Sentence, Revised Sentence, and Explanation. Edit wordy expressions that are unnecessary or information that is off-topic. (6 marks)

Original Sentence – In preparation for the development of the marketing campaign for the Spring/Sumer 2010 line, I would like to provide you with an overview of the orders we have placed for delivery in February 2010 to coincide with “Spring Break” purchases, which have traditionally provided a significant portion of our annual sales, second only to our “Back to School” events in the fall, although these events may not be as successful this year.

Revised Sentence - In preparation for the development of the campaign for the Spring/Summer 2010 line, I’d like to provide you with an overview of the orders we’ve placed for delivery in February to coincide with “Spring Break” purchases. Which have provided a significant portion of our annual sales, second only to our “Back to School” events in the fall. These events may not be as successful this year.

Explanation – All I’ve done with this sentence was breaking it up into smaller sentences for easy readability. Although, I did keep the first sentence at quite a bit of length, I felt it flowed better than with a period.

Original Sentence – We have secured orders for over 150 different style of shoes and the majority of the orders are with existing suppliers; however, we are working with a new supplier for the bridal shoe line

Revised Sentence – We’ve secured orders for over 150 different styles of shoes and the majority of the orders are with existing suppliers. However, we’re working with a new supplier for the bridal shoe line.

Explanation – I’ve shortened the sentence by removing the semi-colon and adding a period, and made the – we are into we’re etc.

17. Copy one sentence from Scenario 6 that is written in the passive voice. Rewrite this sentence using the active voice. Clearly label the old and new sentences as Passive and Active. (2 marks)

Passive Voice - The range of styles and the quality offered by Fine Feet have been impressive to my associate, Dixie.

Active Voice – Dixie, my associate is very impressed of the range of styles and quality offered by Fine Feet.

18. Copy one sentence from Scenario 6 that contains a misplaced modifier. Rewrite this sentence to clarify its meaning. Clearly label your sentences as Misplaced Modifier and Clearer Modifier. (2 marks)

Misplaced Modifier – As soon as this was discovered, we contacted the factory quickly to remedy this oversight in the morning.

Clearer Modifier – As soon as this was discovered, in the morning we contacted the factory quickly to remedy this oversight.

19. Identify two problems in the following example from Scenario 6: “Not to mention the amazing embellishments that are sure to spark the interest of our well-healed clients: flowers, butterflies, crystals, and feathers.” (2 marks)

For Marker’s Use:

Part 2 Subtotal: /30

Part 3 Revising (Questions 20 to 28) 40 marks

Refer as needed to Chapters 5, 6, and 7 of your textbook. Read the instructions for each activity. Answer all questions clearly and concisely. If possible, include examples to highlight your comments. Maintain a “you” view throughout.

Activity A – Evaluate a text

Evaluate the purpose, tone, and organization of Walter’s letter. Who is the audience and what is the purpose of the letter? Does it maintain a “you” view?

20. What is Walter Bern’s specific purpose for writing to Mrs. Beaudoin? (1 mark)

Walter’s specific purpose for writing to Mrs. Beaudoin is to inform her on how to accumulate points within the Boat Buyers Program.

21. In one sentence, comment on the tone of Walter’s letter. (1 mark)

Walter is extremely polite, positive and ensuring throughout his message.

22. In three sentences, comment on the content organization in Walter’s letter. (3 marks)

Walter’s contest organization is a little scatter-brained in the message, listing things in a sequence that doesn’t make sense. He should have the part about finding the brochure explaining the details ahead of him referring to it. Also, the part referring to the extra points for a friend or colleague should be ahead of the section listing what you can do with the points you accumulate.

23. Provide two examples with supportive evidence to describe how the content of the letter is on topic. (4 marks)

The beginning paragraph and ending paragraph are on topic. The beginning paragraph for the introductory for the company is very well done. The beginning paragraph highlights the company, the cruise, and the bonus Mrs. Beaudoin is receiving. It would be well received by the reader. The ending paragraph closes out nicely and is very polite. It’s on topic, mentions the company and also a reminder how the BBP is going to save them money.

Activity B – Organize a text

Assess the effectiveness of the letter’s content and organization.

24. Provide two examples of sentences that should be removed and justify your answer. (2 marks)

This sentence: Please consult the BBP brochure to locate further information about flight reductions is redundant and repetitive. The sentence before this already explains flight reductions and mentions the brochure. Another sentence that should be removed is: Look for super sales in our Summer 2009 Vacation Travel Destinations to Alaska section, this seems pushy onto the customer when they’ve already made a large expense like a cruise. Mrs. Beaudoin will already be looking through the brochure, meaning they don’t need to bombard with this sales pitch.

25. Provide two examples where parts of this letter are missing or underdeveloped. (2 marks)

Walter asks the Mrs. Beaudoin to call him if she has any questions but doesn’t leave a number. After stating Earth’s Voyages Cruises treat their customers with special courtesy. It should be noted somewhere as a benefit that any travel booked with Earth’s Voyages will accumulate points for Mrs. Beaudoin.

26. Help Walter reorganize his letter by creating an alphanumeric outline (i.e., major title, major component, subpoints). (3 marks)

Title: Boat Buyers Program, inform his reader about how she can accumulate points and other rewards.

I. Boat Buyers Program

A. Cruise information

1. Activate BPP credit card

2. BBP only currency allowed on ship

II. BPP Brochure

A. BPP card rewards

1. Referring a co-worker or friend

2. Discounts for airlines

3. What you can do with your points

III. Wrap Up

A. Contact information

Activity C – Revise a text

27. Proofread paragraph 1 of Walter’s letter. Refer to the Checklist for Revising Messages on page 143 of the textbook. Identify four items that need revising. Describe the writing problems these examples demonstrate. Clearly label your sentences as Examples and Problems. (4 marks)

The letter could be more conversational by including more contractions. Examples: the last sentence could be converted into you’ll; we are planning could be converted into we’re. The second revision that can be done is the readability of the message, include short familiar words. I would replace embark with a word like board. I’d remove the redundancy that says “Your departure date” and simply use your departure. The last revision I’d include is highlighting the time the ship leaves the dock with a simple underline as it’s an important detail and you want to ensure the customer doesn’t miss their vacation.

28. Rewrite Walter’s letter to improve its effectiveness. Cultivate the “you” view and focus on the receiver’s needs. Write an effective version of Walter’s text (Refer to pages 99 and 100 in your textbook.)

Present an effective version of Walter’s text using your own words. Incorporate the analysis you previously completed in questions 20–27 as you follow the 3-x-3 process. Format this text as a professional letter by cultivating a “receiver focus.” (20 marks)

Earth’s Voyages: Discount travel that inspires memorable vacations

May 26, 2009

Mrs. Jeanne Beaudoin

7 rue Ste.Therese

Ville de Quebec, PQ

G2K 9K7

Hi Mrs. Beaudoin!

Thank you for registering for the Boat Buyers Program (BBP) before taking your Christmas Caribbean cruise. Your cruise will take you and your friends from Miami to Nassau in the Bahamas on the Maiden of the Sea, the newest cruise ship featured by our company, Earth’s Voyages Cruises. We’re planning to give you, our valued customer, a special Christmas bonus under this program. Your departure is January 19th, from Miami. The ship leaves dock at 5.p.m. Allow yourself two hours to check in ad board, before this departure time. You’ll receive an extra 100 BBP points for completing this cruise. Also, points can be collected whenever you book any type of travel through Earth Voyages.

First, you must activate your BPP credit card in order to take advantage of this program and benefit from our point system. You can call 1800-Go-Go-BBP to sign up. You may only use the the BBP card to make payments on board the liner. You’ll receive 10 points for every dollar you spend on the ship, these can be used towards your next cruise with Earth’s Voyages Cruises.

Enclosed, please find a brochure explain the details of the BBP program along with information about BBP card rewards.

You get an extra 50 points if you help sign up a friend or co-worker to the BBP program as well.

Your BBP points can be used to receive discounts on all major airlines from your home to a cruise port of departure listed on our brochure.

If you collect 10,000 points, you can cruise the Mediterranean; with 5,000 points, you can cruise the Caribbean from any port within the United States; for 2,000 points you can enjoy a special cruise on the St. Lawrence River leaving from Montreal or along the Queen Charlotte Islands leaving from Vancouver. Please refer to the Boat Buyers Program (BBP) brochure to find a cruise schedule that fits your needs.

At Earth Voyages Cruises, we’ll see to it that your needs are fulfilled and that you treated with special courtesy whenever and where you wish to travel with us. We hope that you’ll take advantage of the BPP and its fantastic cost savings.

Please call me at 1-800-Go-Go-BPP ext. 233 if you’ve got any question and I’ll be glad to return your call.

Sincerely,

Walter Bern

Public Relations Representative

For Marker’s Use:

Part 3 Subtotal: /40

Total Assignment: /100%