The beginning of puberty marks the start of adolescence. Adolescence is considered to be the transitional stage from childhood to adulthood. During this period, teens begin to undergo a series of psychological and physiological changes which usually occurs between the ages of twelve through nineteen. This can be a time of both discovery and confusion. During this stage, issues regarding self-identity and independence will surface. Many adolescents are faced with difficult choices involving drugs, alcohol, schoolwork, sexuality, their social life and relationship with their parents. Peer groups, romantic interests and external appearance tend to increase in importance for some time during a teen's journey toward adulthood. Some of the issues an adolescent may go through are evident in the novel “Go Ask Alice” by Anonymous. It provides us with insight into the mind of a teen that is struggling with internal and external turmoil which leads her astray into a path of drug abuse.
A fifteen year old girl who remains unnamed (title of the novel refers to her as Alice) starts a diary in which she records her experiences and life events as an adolescent. Alice is a gifted writer who writes in an observant and sensitive style. She confides in her diary revealing to it her deepest thoughts. Like many other adolescents, she worries about her appearance, relationships, school, and social life. Alice often feels as if she is on the outside looking in. She sees herself as an outsider in her school and family. This is attributed to her inability to share herself completely with anyone else. It has placed a strain on the relationships she has tried to develop with her family and friends. When her father is offered a new teaching position in a different town it cheers her up. However, her insecurities surface as she realizes that the move is not going to be an easy ride. While the rest of her family adjusts to the new town, Alice feels like an outcast at school.
Erickson’s psychosocial stages illustrate the conflicts that take place within the ego and in society/culture. In observing his stages, Alice falls under the fifth stage known as ego identity versus role confusion. In this stage the adolescent undergoes physical changes and reexamines their identity to find out who they really are. As Alice becomes more independent and begins to look at her future she struggles with finding a sense of belonging. She also despises the changes in her body and fluctuations in her weight. She is incredibly self-conscious and obsesses over her weight. She fails to establish a sense of identity in her environment which causes role confusion. Role confusion involves the individual not being sure about themselves or their place in society just as Alice exhibits. As a response to this confusion an adolescent may begin to experiment with different lifestyles. Things begin to look up when Beth enters Alice’s life; the two become fast friends. However, when Beth leaves for summer camp Alice spends a few weeks with her grandparents. This is where her descent to drugs begins.
An old friend of Alice, Jill, invites her to a party. During the party, the teens play a game called “button, button, where is the button?” A soft drink is handed to each of the participants and one of them is laced with a drug. Alice unwittingly takes LSD and experiences a "beautiful" drug trip. This experience gave Alice curiosity about drugs however; she vowed to never take them again. Alice tries to convince herself that she will stay away from drugs. Conflicted with her emotions, Alice struggles with making the decision of whether or not to enter the new world of drugs. What started out as strolls into newfound lands, soon turned into her entire world. Alice begins to experiment with more drugs and ends up losing her virginity while on acid. A wave of guilt washes over her. She doesn't know who she can talk to bout drugs.
When Alice returns home she is unable to sleep. Her doctor prescribes powerful tranquilizers. She begins to exhibit symptoms of a substance abuse disorder with prescription and non-prescription drugs. Alice uses more then she expected to use and is constantly trying to cut back but fails to do so. She neglects her responsibilities and spends more time trying to obtain any kind of drug she can get her hands on.
Still in search of someone she can express herself to, Alice meets Chris and they are both displeased with their environment and families. Soon, the two become best friends. At school, they use drugs and become popular. Chris's friend Richie, a college boy, turns Alice on to marijuana. The THC in marijuana increases a person’s level of dopamine and affects how the brain makes it. The increased level in THC makes it more likely for someone to become addicted to it. A marijuana user can suffer from lack of motivation, short term memory loss, and so on. Despite Alice’s efforts to stop doing drugs she is still pulled into that world.
Alice documents several cases of sexual assault. Each account having to do with what she or her friends Doris and Babbie have experienced. Alice explains how she and Chris were molested by Sheila and her boyfriend, the sexual favors she performed in order to obtain drugs, and a rape threat. She also expresses Doris and Babbie’s long histories of sexual abuse. The cases provide evidence of the utter cruelty of society; not only do others try to lure Alice back into drugs they are unsympathetic towards her and they actively victimize her. Alice develops a cynical attitude towards sex. Adolescents who suffered from sexual abuse are left with a variety of emotional and behavioral effects. After someone is sexually abused they learn that people cannot be trusted for protection and/or support. This leads to grief, depression, extreme dependency, inability to judge trustworthiness in others, mistrust, anger and hostility. The adolescent begins to feel shame and guilt.
The relationship between Alice and her parents continue to grow weaker. She always had trouble being able to open up to tell. Each time Alice returns home from her excursions they devote themselves to her recovery, though they are a major part of the reason Alice continues to leave. However, she never feels as if she can fully open up to them about anything important such as her drug use and her fears regarding sex. Her parents are upstanding and cultured citizens who have a few flaws. It is clear that even a child of the best parent can fall into drugs. Lines of communication are not always as open as they seem and society can injure children in ways parents cannot help or do not notice. Communication is increasingly important in any kind of relationship. It assists in us being comfortable in the environment. Alice’s inability to fully communicate with someone caused a war to spark within herself over whether to follow or rebel from their middle-class example and often wonders how devoted they are to their family and to their social standing. Her father, stands at the crossroads of ambition and family, fears Alice's hippie lifestyle will taint the family's reputation and destroy his chances at the university presidency. Yet, he still drops everything whenever Alice is in trouble. Her mother's nagging, reveals anxiety about the family's image and is a force behind Alice's alienation. However, both learn to treat Alice with more respect and as an adult.
Being home again makes Alice decide to refrain from using drugs. That does not last very long. As many times as she attempted to get drug free on her own she failed. When Alice stops taking drugs all of her insecurities and fears resurface. It’s almost as though she has found her sense of belonging when she started taking drugs. Although, the first time she used drugs was unknowing she found a way to escape from her adolescent anguish. She is in constant search of someone who will understand her. When she leaves home again she ends up in California. There is where she meets several other runaways and talks to them about why they left home. She imagines herself going into the field of psychology or child guidance in order to help others. These aspirations never come to light because she is a practicing drug abuser and she neglects her priorities. Her main goal is to obtain more drugs just to feel that sense serenity again.
Unknowingly, Alice ends up in an insane asylum. She is afraid of the environment and the other patients. The only thing she can think of are the worms she believes are eating her alive. She chewed her fingers to the bone, clawed up her face, and body. Life in the asylum begins to drains Alice. Her father explains that when her case was brought before a juvenile court Jan and another girl testified that Alice had still been on drugs and was selling them. He reassures her that he is doing what is necessary to get her back home. In a turn of events, her father reports that Jan has recanted her statement and Alice is free to go home. Alice decides that it is no longer necessary for her to keep her diary with the newly found support of her family, friends, and Joel. Joel has given her a sense of belonging and acceptance. She relishes in the sense of belonging that has found its way to her. Three weeks later, Alice dies from an overdose. We do not know whether it was intentional or accidental. Alice was in a constant battle trying to establish her identity. She never felt as though she belonged. She always viewed herself as the outcast. To Alice she was not a main character but an unwanted substitute. Her family was unaware of the extent of her problems. They are partly to blame for her inability to communicate and open herself up to. Her diary was her best friend and the only place she felt comfortable bearing her soul. It offered her comfort but that was not enough. She was led astray into the world of drugs. Drugs gave her an escape like no other. The issue regarding finding ones identity is very pressing. When someone like Alice cannot find themselves they become lost in a world that leads them done a dangerous path.