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Light Giver

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On my Light-Giver essay, I received a score of 6/6-, which is understandable, because I can acknowledge that my essay had both good and bad aspects.To further explain the positive attributes of my essay, the most prominent detail that popped out at me throughout the entirety of my essay was how I was very descriptive. Rather than telling, I did a lot of showing through sensory details and imagery. For instance, at the end of the first page I wrote, “Simply reminding myself of what I endured brought shivers up my spine, caused a cascade of goose bumps to break out onto my skin, and spread an unwanted prickling sensation throughout my entire body.” My use of imagery really painted a picture in the reader’s mind and made them feel as if they were truly …show more content…
For instance, I had an entire section dedicated to asking questions such as, “Do these people [the Japanese] not have the right to be seen as separate individuals from their brothers and sisters who have caused the wrongdoing themselves? Why are we the only ones blessed with the opportunity to ask for forgiveness, but fail to pass along that option to others when showing mercy doesn’t fit into our personal agendas?” Personally, I believe those were very thought-provoking questions. However, I do understand that there were some areas that called for improvement. A mechanism that could have enhanced my overall narrative would be to essentially elaborate more. As I reread what I wrote, I discovered that I was vague in my explanation. This can be seen when I wrote about seeing my Japanese neighbors packing up their belongings along the side of the road. I never really talked about how they felt. I merely wrote about how they looked distraught for less than a paragraph. Shortly after, I talk about how “Involuntary internment is amongst one of the most immoral discriminatory acts a person could commit.” Yet, I never elaborated on the

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