Elizabeth Meushaw
English 101
Prof. Wert
3-29-2012
A Simple Ouch Will Suffice
Tattoos and piercings are simply very silly. People who have known me for a long time know that I would never ever get any tattoos or piercings other than on my ears. I just saw very little point in ruining one’s body for a “look.” So why, you may ask, am I sitting here with my tongue the size of a golf ball? Well, I have a story to tell I just hope any questions you have will be answered, after I inform you of my experience with my piercing.
It all started when I was 8 my sister decided to get her seventh tattoo and brought me along so my parents wouldn’t suspect anything, and instead they simply assumed we were taking a stroll on the boardwalk. As I watched my older sister get some stupid spider forever imbedded into her hip for no apparent reason I questioned her sanity. Everyone was so excited about this and I couldn’t see why it was cool, and I couldn’t see why my parents were so furious about it either. This gave me a terrible brilliant idea. Being the snack lover everyone knows and loves today I always tried to scam my classmates’ lunch money from them; this silly tattoo thing seemed perfect. As soon as I got back to school I started “Elizabeth’s tattoo station” 25 cents a tat! Business was booming I had my sharpie all ready and I was getting everyone, yet I still couldn’t wrap my head around why these stupid kids would pay me to scribble sharpie on their arm, but hey don’t question a working business.
As I grew up I began to invoke my stylistic mind into the clothing of a Goth, I loved the look and pulled it off great. This ironically made everyone think I was going to cover myself in tattoos and piercings, but that wasn’t my personality. Going through school people would get their parents to let them get tattoos as young as 15 and belly button piercings as young as 13, I didn’t have my ears even pierced until I turned 16. Everyone thought that my parents were really strict although it was my decision, I just didn’t have a reason to get it done. So as I worked the Goth look I of course hung out with all the Goth kids, they all had gauges and piercings and tattoos and dyed hair, the whole sha-bang. It all looked really stupid to me when they went overboard.
When I reached senior year I in fact lost a couple of my beliefs. I first dyed my hair a few odd colors, I was aiming for purple but never quite got it right and I eventually gave up on the colored hair. Than I gauged my ears to a size “0”, which if you know gauges that is a moderately large size. I still held my beliefs on tattoos, and honestly that belief will never go away, but my piercing rule slipped a bit. I pierced to additional holes on my left ear so I have 3 on one side and only one on the other.
I met a guy who held my same opinion of tattoos and piercings and my parents also agreed with that thought. My two sisters have quite a few tattoos and my parents would rather pretend like they didn’t exist (the tattoos not the girls themselves), while my perfect brothers had no piercings no tats and straight “A”s I always stood on the affection border. I dyed my hair slipped to the dark side, got “A”s went back to the favored side. That was life simple and easy to bend my way.
Well On Monday March 26th, while driving my beloved to work I realized something. I wanted to get my tongue pierced, I had no idea why at first but I got really excited thinking about it. My man on the other hand was infuriated by the very thought of me wanting to get it done much less the reality of when I would do it. HE was so mad he didn’t want to speak to me until after he got home; usually he would incessantly text me all throughout his shift. After I dropped him off I went home and told my mom, she was not pleased either. I wasn’t looking for happiness or acceptance simply informing them of the now inevitable fact that it would happen. Once Alex got home he didn’t want to talk about it at all, he was so mad that I would want to do it. He said “ do what you want it’s your body” then he would turn around and say “ you know I don’t like it yet your doing it anyway, wtf?” So he was obviously trying to make me not do it, he was having trouble realizing it was about him it was about me.
Once I sat down and thought long and hard about why I wanted to dig a piece of metal through my tongue it hit me. I wanted an experience, in all reality I’m a good girl. I don’t do any drugs, I don’t smoke pot, I don’t smoke cigarettes, and I simply haven’t done anything. I’m a ballsy crazy individual; I need to do something ballsy and crazy. I would never get a tattoo because I have nothing in my life that needs to be forever imbedded into my flesh. And getting another ear piercing is boring, getting my nipples done is too crazy, belly button seems painful with my wardrobe choices, and don’t get me started about piercing my downstairs; No thank you! Then I thought about my tongue, I love sticking my tongue out at people and I obviously don’t do it in a professional place. It isn’t something that’s noticeable unless I want it to be noticed. Also if I wanted to remove it I could with no damage.
I was very nervous and had many questions, and when one has questions there is only one place to take them, the ever fateful internet. I first checked out YouTube and I watched tons and tons of videos of people getting their tongues pierced. It seemed relatively quick, but also painful. After that I looked up what I had to do to take care of it. Everything was straight forward and simple, soft foods for a few days, don’t talk, use Listerine after eating, don’t put nasty things in your mouth, and don’t play with it before it heals. No big deal, also it kept mentioning the swelling, so I went on Google images and looked that up, and boy did that scare me some people swell like crazy. I had looked up a few articles and apparently the bigger your tongue the worse and the longer it swells but the smaller your tongue the less and shorter it swells. Luck y for me I thought I had a small tongue (apparently I found out I was wrong later on)
In times of idiotic thought there is only one person I can turn to, the neighborhood slut. Being on good terms with her is an advantage simply because it’s like talking to a brick wall but you don’t look as dumb. When I prepared to do this I never thought that it would be as much of a benefit as it turned out to be. Once I announced my tongue piercing idea it got her really excited, she wants to convert me to the dark side and hoped this would help. So she offered to pay for it for me. And with that said I couldn’t say no. Out of fear of her resending the offer I took the money and I got it done as soon as possible. So on march 27 I did it, after class ended I went up to Snakeman’s tattoo parlor and I got my tongue pierced.
Once I got to the place I was shaking out of excitement and shear nervousness, I had to watch a short video beforehand reiterating what I already knew, which was the care of the piercing. After watching the video I was taken to the back and sat down on a table in front of a mirror, the women first had me hold my tongue out and she put a paper towel on it, yes it was gross feeling. Then she said “ well it’s a good thing you have a huge tongue your center is easy to get a hold of” my thought was very simple “fuck fuck I’m going to die right here.” She pulled out these huge tongs and grabbed my tongue; it was uncomfortable but not painful. Once I saw that huge hollow needle I was petrified so I closed my eyes, then I heard her say “ okay let me wind the ball on and your all done” I was beyond shocked I didn’t feel it at all. As soon as she released my tongue I felt to odd and the balls and it felt so weird, not to mention how terrible talking felt.
After I left I went straight to McDonalds to get some ice, for days I have constantly been putting ice on my tongue and letting it melt there, my tongue is huge and throbbing by the third day, but I have to admit I still love it and I can’t wait until the swelling goes down. The only truly down side is eating. I love food and until the swelling goes down I can’t really eat without wanting to cry. Go eat something and don’t move your tongue at all while doing it and then tell me it was fun.
In any event that is the beginning of my tale, from when I first had an opinion until my tongue was golf ball sized. I have no regrets, I’m glad I did something for me without caring about anyone else’s opinion. Beyond being mercilessly mocked by my beloved and family they are accepting of my choice and yes my balls. I feel good for doing it and I’m glad it didn’t hurt bit I defiantly wish it didn’t hurt now. If you think you want to get it done make sure you do some research and be prepared.