Robert Graham
Erin Cooley
Engl 101-10
12 October 2012
Why Die First? How many times have you watched a horror movie and laughed at the first person who dies simply because they did something stupid? As a self-proclaimed horror movie aficionado, I too have pondered upon this. As such, I am here to give you a few pointers and a sort of checklist of things to avoid so that you can protect yourself if you ever manage to be cast as an extra in a horror movie. Hopefully these pointers will help you to stay on screen longer and maybe even get noticed. As crazy as this may sound, the first step to avoid being the first to die in a horror movie would be to read the script. If you are reading for a specific part and you realize during your perusal of the screenplay that your character is the first to die, ask for a different part. While reading, pay close attention to the names given the characters. If the name of your character looks something like “man #1 or woman #1”, there is a high probability that you will die within the first five minutes of the movie. After successfully landing an acting job in a horror movie, you will likely have a few rehearsal sessions. While you are doing rehearsals and practicing your lines, make friends with the largest, slowest person who is not playing the killer. The primary reason for this is simple. Any scene where someone is going to die you are almost assured of being able to outrun this person and they will likely die before you. So now it is time for the film to start shooting. As you wander around the set during the scenes, make sure you are not walking off alone. It is common knowledge the first person to walk off alone during a horror movie is either the killer or the first to die. My suggestion would be to stay in a group of at least three people, one of which should be the large, slow person I mentioned earlier. The reasoning here is quite simple. You do not want to wander off with just one person because they might be the killer and guess what. You are now the first to die. Having the large person with you is beneficial because if that third person is the killer you can push the large person at them and potentially knock the killer down. At the very least though, you have placed someone between you and the killer increasing your chances of escaping and living for another five minutes. The next piece of advice that I can give you is listen to the music. If you are acting out your scene and the music seems mellow and not building towards a climax, you are probably pretty safe. However, if the music is sending chills down your spine and it makes you remember that you are in a horror movie, there is a good chance someone is about to die. During this type of music remember what I have told you before; do not walk off alone and stay near your large friend. Now let us say for the sake of argument that you and your costars have managed to survive the first thirty minutes of the movie and you all stumble upon an abandoned house in the woods. My first suggestion here would be keep moving, this is probably the killer’s house anyway. But if you find that you absolutely must go inside for whatever reason, stay on the main floor. This means do not go into the basement looking for the fuse box. When you do this, you are only leading yourself into a corner from which you cannot escape if the killer shows up. This also means do not go upstairs. Going upstairs only traps you like the basement does but also adds throwing you out of a window into the killer’s repertoire of ways to snuff you out. The best advice I can give you inside the house would be stay together in the main room and do not turn on the lights or light a fire. Now let us assume that you have made it past the first step but the director decides to throw a monkey wrench in your plans. If it appears no one has died up to this point, there is a good chance that the director plans on editing the film so that no one really knows who will die when. At this point my suggestion would be to do your best to make your death as boring as possible. What I mean by this is when you finally meet the killer, just stand there and let them kill you. I would even suggest not screaming or prolonging the death scene by taking three minutes to finally die. When the killer makes his move, you should fall dead instantly. Probably the most important thing to remember here is do not make it appear like you are martyring yourself. This might make the director decide to use you as the first kill to show how futile any attempts at staying alive might be. No one ever wants to be the first to die in a horror movie. These are quite often the people who are never noticed or even remembered for being in the movie at all. If you follow these simple steps, you can be on the right track to avoid dying first in a horror movie. This will give you more face time on the screen and maybe even lead to more acting gigs in the future. Most importantly, this will keep you from being the person that everyone laughs at for making a stupid decision during the beginning of the movie that causes you to be the first target for the killer.