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美国、英国与中国中学生写作案例举隅 西北师大附中 李 静

1.美国:美国重视对学生的写作指导,例如2001年6月通过的美国麻萨诸塞州《英语语言艺术课程标准纲要》提出了语言学习的十条原则,其中第六条原则是:有效的英语语言艺术课程给学生提供针对阅读和写作的非常明确的技术指导。从这一原则可以看出美国写作教学的指导原则:提前给学生提供一些明确的技术指导是非常有效的,明确的指令特别有助于学生解决那些他们在作业中碰到的难题。该课程标准在写作说明部分明确指出:“为了把学生培育成写作的多面手,教师应当强调三方面的任务:首先要有拓展性写作练习;其次,多写命题的简短作文;再次,多进行随笔练习。” [i] 这种循序渐进的能力训练序列也是科学主义的表现。 比如“写一件有趣的往事”这样一篇作文,教材的指导如下: 内容要求:你在电话上和朋友说话时,感觉到你妈妈,或者弟弟、妹妹可能在偷听,你有过这样的经历吗?这种在电话里和朋友谈事情时不舒服的感觉,在通过写信和朋友的交流中就不会存在了。写信时你有时间慢慢讨论属于你和朋友的私事。假如你最好的朋友刚搬到另一个城市,感到很孤独,而且想家,那么写封信给他/她,讲讲你的有趣经历,难道还有比这更好的办法吗?在信中,生动地描绘一件好笑的经历,就像这个单元中的作家描写小说中人物有趣的恶作剧一样。 任务:写一段有趣的往事。 目的:娱乐。 读者:生活在另一个城市的朋友。 写作前 ⑴哪些事真的很滑稽可笑?再看一下本单元的故事,仔细阅读写有一系列幽默事件的一篇故事。例如,你有可能会选择伊萨克·巴士韦斯·辛格的《我迷路的那天》,仔细阅读,然后想一想,作者是如何描写这些事情的?为什么很有趣? ⑵勾画情景。记住,你朋友也许并不指望你回答事情是如何发生的这类问题,他也可能只要你简单地按时间顺序描述当时的情景。划一条表示时间的长线,将发生的事情按先后顺序排列。 学生示例: 晚饭妈妈让我吃肉糕→我用叉子叉起肉糕→妈妈起身去接电话→我把肉糕胡乱塞进袜子后装在我抽屉里→妈妈两个星期找到袜子 初稿 ⑴以意想不到的话开头。吸引你朋友注意力的最好的方法之一,就是用有趣的或者令人深思的一句话或一个问题开始。 学生示范:有些东西你不想吃,你家又没有养狗,那么最好的处理方法是什么呢?听着,让我来教你一个非常简单的方法,最起码我认为那是最简单的! ⑵补漏洞。在信中加上幽默的对话,富有色彩的描述、富有想像力的语言。想一想如何尽可能生动地描写细节。不要在一个词或一个句子上花太多精力,而要将整个事情流利地描述出来。记住这是一篇非正式的往事描写,而不是正式的报告。 ⑶制造悬念。与幽默故事相关的一个重要因素是意外。你写信的目的是让你朋友开心,所以不要在一开始就说出结果而扫了兴致,而是将你的朋友一点点引入高潮,引起悬念,使他急于知道下文。 ⑷信的结束内容。讲完故事后,问几个问题,例如他/她对这件事有什么看法?他/她在类似的情况下会怎么办?通过提问,你表现出很在意朋友的意见和反应,及经常联络的愿望。 修改和校对 ⑴读一读自己的文章。但是不要在写完后马上就读,而是将写好的文章放一两天,然后假设你刚收到这封信,思考下列问题:开头的句子吸引你的注意力吗?事情的过程有没有按逻辑安排?这件事有趣、幽默吗? ⑵校阅。和正式的文章不一样,私人信件的句子可以用断句、缩约式及不规范的标点符号。但是,拼写和语法错误可能会把你朋友搞糊涂,这样就会让他失去读故事的兴趣。检查一下,确保信中没有意思模糊的错误。 作者提示 写作时,用形象生动的形容词和主动动词为读者描绘发生的情景。例如,“我把肉糕胡乱塞进(shove)袜子”比“我把肉糕放进(put)肉糕”要有趣得多。 选择发表方法 如果你有生活在另一座城市的朋友,将这封信寄给他/她。 把这篇文章大声读给同学听,请他们作评论。如果他们收到这封信,会有什么反应? 回顾你的写作过程 ⑴你觉得“时间线”有用吗?为什么? ⑵你在往事描写中是如何制造悬念的? ⑶这个作业中最难的是什么?请解释说明。 由以上的例子可以看到,美国文学教材非常重视对写作过程的讲解。教材按写作前、写作中、写作后(修改、发表或报告)等步骤对每一种类型的写作过程都有详细、具体的指导。如此做法等于给了学生一个很好的写作工具,有效地增强了学生对完成写作任务的兴趣和信心。 此外,教材中还介绍某位作家写某篇文章的经过,目的在于用具体的例子展示成名作家的文章写作过程。在本次作文指导中就用了短篇小说中《最年轻的舞龙男孩》作者安妮·麦卡弗蕾的写作过程为例作简要说明。 安妮·麦卡弗蕾和《最年轻的舞龙男孩》 写作前 幸运的错误开端:安妮•麦卡弗蕾本来打算写的是一个完全不同的人物,但她后来发现根本写不下去。她说,“所以我放弃了原来的写作计划,开始写——‘最年轻的舞龙男孩’。” 写作欲望:对麦卡弗蕾来说,如何发现写作思路从来都不是难题。她说,“在我写作生涯的早期,孩子还很小,我总是考虑空下来坐到打字机前的时候,我该写些什么。这一直就是我的写作欲望。” 草稿 描绘场景:尽管麦卡弗蕾写的是不存在的地方,她的想像还是很准确、具体,在写作时,她在脑中勾画出每一个场景。她说:“在每个场景中,我对每个角色的位置了如指掌:如果我不太清楚,那么我要保证我能在脑中想像出他们的位置后,才开始协作,就好像我从某个角度看着舞台一样。” 修改 压缩、删减和次序:麦卡弗蕾边写边改,最后完稿后再作一次修改。她说:“大部分时候我修改对话,压缩场景,删减形容词和副词,并注意词组的适当顺序。”
下面是她新小说中的一个修改例子:
初稿 Now everything Bunny cared about and counted on was changing, coming apart the way the ice, usually as much to be depended upon as the ground this time of year, had broken away beneath her. 修改稿 All of a sudden, everything Bunny cared about and counted on was changing: coming apart the way the ice, usually as the solid ground this time of year, had broken away beneath her. 麦卡弗蕾说:“有时候只要重新读一遍,你就会发现某一段里某个词用得太频繁了,你思维中的耳朵听起来会很不自然。” 发表 作者说,“对于作品被收入教材,我并不很自信,因为有时被迫去读某个作家的作品会让你讨厌她/他的其他作品。但当我听到三个孩子聊天时说,在学校时老师要他们读《最年轻的舞龙男孩》,而这篇文章‘还不赖’时,我的顾虑就打消了。” 麦卡弗蕾说,“那事实上是对我最好的表扬。” 2.英国: ⑴英国LONGMAN(朗文)出版公司出版的《WORLD CLASS(level 4)》一书中很多写作都有非常详尽的指导,而且可操作性比较强。例如第20课的作文:复习15课和16课的故事,写下你的银行抢劫案的故事。 在要求之后有如下指导: 第一步:思考这些事情: 窃贼 / 银行 / 银行里的人 / 银行里发生了什么 / 逃跑 第二步:写一个详细的计划。这些事情包括以下三段: 形势:在故事的开头,这个银行窃贼做了什么?/银行外面的街道/银行里的人在干什么? 发生的事情:这个银行窃贼做了什么?/人们做出了什么样的反应? 最后发生的事情:如果他们逃跑该怎样?/警察做了什么?/被偷的钱发生了什么? 第三步:写故事,记着运用以下连接的词语: first / then / after that / still / next /immediately / in the end 第四步:写完以后,检查故事中出现的错误。 这个指导包括对构思、结构、连接词、修改等环节的详细指导。 再例如第25课的作文:小组内每个同学写出对自己推荐影片的一些想法,留到27课时使用。之后的指导如下: ·电影的类型:浪漫 / 牛仔 / 悬念 ·主要角色 ·次要角色 ·开始时的情况 ·故事链:发生了什么 ·影片中的风景(至多3个或4个) 这个指导比较简单,但针对性很强,是这个电影简介的作文题目必须具备的要素提示。 ⑵英国学者Pam Bloomfield编写的《GCESEnglish》一书中,关于“写解释类文章”这一节中,作者先介绍了解释类文章的写作要点,包括以下内容: 意想的读者:通常是那样的一些人,他们想理解某个观点,一个行为的过程,一个程序或者原理。 目的:提供一个问题的答案,给出理由,帮助某个人理解一个程序。 结构:符合逻辑、环环相扣。 语言特征(写作时你应该): ·开头运用一般的说明去介绍主题 ·用合适的形式去写作 ·用较平静的或者采取不受个人感情影响的语调(甚至涉及个人问题时也是如此。) ·运用一般现在时 ·运用表示原因的连接词,比如因为,所以等 ·运用复合句 ·在对问题合适的地方,包含专业词汇表 接下来举例说明遇到一个解释类作文时,应该如何去分析这些内容: 作文题目是:请你为即将上10年级的学生写一篇文章,告诉他们在GCSE科目中,你认为对你最有帮助的是什么? 具体分析是: 意想的读者:即将上10年级的学生 形式:小册子 主题:解释GCSE科目中,你认为哪些对你最有帮助 目的:最有帮助 上面的指导不仅包括解释类文章的写作要点,而且包括了具体的例子,学生易于接受、易于学习、易于操作。 从上述两种教材的例子可见,英国对学生的写作指导也是一些明确的技术指导,是把写作理解为表达思想的工具,而写作指导就是告诉学生如何很好地使用写作这个工具,向文章读者清楚表达自己的意思。 3.中国:中国人民教育出版社于2000年3月出版的全日制普通高级中学教科书(实验修订本·必修)语文(第一册)中作文的每个单元都有篇幅较长的写作指导,例如第二单元“深入思考生活”的写作指导是: 深入思考生活,是在用心感受生活基础上,对生活的理性认识。在写作中,思考起着承上启下的作用,它是作者在感受生活的基础上,产生自己对生活的认识,然后用语言表达出来。 生活是复杂的,对生活的思考,是从偶然到必然、从特殊到普通、从现象到本质的逐步深入的过程。 深入思考生活,要注意以下几点: 第一,由此及彼,以已知的经验为基础,间接地认识客观事物。如毕淑敏的《素面朝天》,由花草树木联想到人,质疑人类的某种行为,表达了自己的认识和态度。 看看我们周围,每一颗树、每一叶草、每一朵花,都不化妆。面对骄阳、面对暴雨、面对风雪,它们都本色而自然。它们会衰老和凋零,但衰老和凋零也是一种真实。作为万物灵长的人类,为何还要将自己隐藏在脂粉和油彩的后面呢? 第二,由表及里,在感受生活的基础上,通过自己的分析、综合、比较,把感性认识上升到理性认识,发现一类事物所共有的本质或各种事物之间的规律性联系。如日本画家东山魁一《一片树叶》,花开花落,爱花赏花,因为“瞬息即逝”,所以才觉得珍贵,才引起内心的“喜悦”。由自己的感受,上升到对生命的认识。 如果花儿常开不败,我们永远活在地球上,那么花月相逢就不会引人如此动情。花开花落,方显出生命的灿烂光华;爱花赏花,更说明人对花木的无比珍惜。地球瞬息即逝的事物,一旦有缘相遇,定会在人们的心里激起无限的喜悦。这不只限于樱花,即使路旁一颗无名小草,不是同样如此吗? 第三,由个别到一般。思考生活,包括将自己的个别感情,上升到对人们普遍情绪和感情的概括。这种概括愈广泛,就愈具有典型意义,就愈能引起共鸣。这种概括是在对生活的感受基础上实现的。如诗人舒婷的《船》,表现的就是一种普遍的情感。 一只小船/不知什么缘故/倾斜地搁浅在/荒凉的礁岸上/油漆还没褪尽/风帆已经折断/既没有绿树垂荫/ 连青草也不肯生长/满潮的海面/只在离它几米的地方/波浪喘息着/水鸟焦灼地扑打翅膀/无垠的大海/纵有辽远的疆域/咫尺之间/却丧失了最后的力量 这种因咫尺之间而产生的无奈和无力感,每个人在生活中都会感受过。诗人将自己的感觉进行概括,使之升华,成为对生活的一种普遍认识。 大学教师董小玉等编写的《高校写作学教程》一书中,关于散文的“行文”是这样指导的: 第一、随物赋形,自成一体。 先解释“随物赋形,自成一体”的意思:苏轼在散文理论上曾提出一个著名的观点“随物赋形”。苏轼讲,他的散文好象是水,水没有形状,流到圆池成圆形,流到方池成方形,散文作为一种追求真实平凡的审美理想的文体,在构思行文中,时常呈现出一种随物赋形自成一体的形态。 然后举韩石山《潺湲室记》为例,选取其中两段文字,具体阐述本点内容: 以韩石山《潺湲室记》为例。作者所记乃自己所居的一间九平方米的陋室。取名为潺湲,实指这小房逢雨必漏,虚示作者文思能如雨水一般潺潺而流。作者着意写渗水成漏的“音乐”美和溅水成画的“绘画”美。请看作者描写的。(以下文字未录)落在脸盆中的声音是:噗!噗!落在茶盅和涮笔盂中的是:叮!叮!落在铝质暖壶中的是:当!当!至于落在花盆中的,先打在花叶上又掉在泥土中,那声音就不是笔墨所能形容的了。随着滴水的盈积,这乐声便由单声变成了双声,变成了奇妙的和弦。因此,它使作者产生了独特的美感情趣。 滴水的情况得到解决,新情况随之发生,那些器皿中的积水常要溅出来弄湿了桌面。于是,在作者面前,又出现了一种神奇而壮观的景象。(以下文字未录)作者便是通过写这种“音乐”美、“绘画”美而自然成文,一派怡然自乐。原本应该是该怨该愁之事,他的笔下却是陋中见美,表明了知识分子那种传统美德:“身居陋室,心怀天下” ,以苦为乐。 第二、揉直使曲,精巧而成。 先论述散文写作要“曲”的原因,然后以刘白羽的《日出》为例,分析其中“揉直使曲”的写法,赏析由这种写法给文章增添的魅力。 从以上三国的作文指导案例比较不难看出,中美英三国的作文教学都比较重视写作指导,但是侧重点有所区别。美英的写作指导注重对学生实施步骤清晰、容易操作、实际有效的指导,期望学生在作文指导下能即刻写出象模象样的文章来;写作指导只有指导怎么写的内容,没有知识的讲解和传授,消除了神秘感,较为切实可行,步骤清晰,可操作性很强,看了指导以后,学生心中就会比较有数了,知道应该“怎么写”了;所举写作实例以学生习作为主,而以名家名篇为辅,易于学生模仿、学习。 我国的写作指导注重学生综合素质的培养,注重传统文学精品对学生潜移默化的影响和熏陶,注重学生个体的感悟与体会,注重学生在长期阅读与写作中的积累;理论知识的内容讲得比较全面,也有名家名篇的例子为证,但是具体的方法步骤讲得则比较少,同时也少见鲜明生动可供模仿的例子,学生看了指导以后,明白了“是什么”,但是对于“怎么写”这个问题还是不太清楚。 因此,我国在写作教学的指导中,应该加强对具体写作过程的指导,消除学生对写作的恐惧心理,让学生明白,努力按照指导去写,虽然不一定能写出什么惊世之作,但是亲手写出一篇象样的文章来用于交流也并非一件难事。

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...Faculty of Science and Engineering Department of Mining and Engineering and Mine Surveying Western Australia School of Mines 12585 - Mine Planning 532 Research Paper 1 – Mine Planning Process and the Carbon Tax Due Date : Friday 19-8-2011 Word Count: 2470 Abstract On 15 December 2008, the Federal Government launched its 2020 target for greenhouse gas emissions and its White Paper on the Carbon Pollution Reduction Scheme (CPRS) as the start of the policy and legislation process. The mining sector in Australia has been cited as being a major contributor to greenhouse gases. The introduction of the CPRS means carbon emissions of a mining project should be considered from the initial stages of mine planning. The traditional approach to mine planning involves consideration of technical and economic data as inputs to the process. This paper considers the effect of the CPRS on various technical and economic factors related to the mine planning process. The results of this paper imply that the introduction of the CPRS makes it is imperative for mining companies to assess the impact of carbon emissions on a mining project during mine planning. Introduction Climate change has become an increasingly topical issue in recent times. Mounting scientific evidence suggests that human activities are causing a buildup of greenhouse gases and that this in turn is causing changes to the world’s climate (Gregorczu, 1999). Further complicating the issue, there are economic costs, scientific...

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...Nowadays one of the most debated issues around the world is how to reduce carbon dioxide emissions to fight climate change, a carbon tax is one of the most commonly recommended proposals. According to Morris (2008) a carbon tax is a tax on energy sources which emit carbon dioxide. It is a pollution tax, which some economists favour because they tax a 'bad' rather than a 'good' (such as income). Moreover, climate change poses serious risks to both the environment and the economy. Scientists project that, depending on future greenhouse gasses(GHG) emissions, by 2100 average global temperatures will be 2°F to 11.5°F higher than now (Dasgupta, 2014). These higher temperatures create more frequent, damaging and extreme weather events, such as cyclones,...

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...might be as simple as advocating a tax. The atmosphere contains various gases like carbon dioxide that warms our atmosphere by trapping the heat the sun emits. Consequently, the trapping of the heat from the sun called the greenhouse effect hurts our atmosphere if overproduced. Earth's worldwide temperature is inevitably rising to an all time high every year. As a result, global warming becomes more and more ominous. This global warming has in fact been an issue ever since the industrial revolution era. Humans are mostly to blame...

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