...marriages say “We just don’t communicate anymore.” This means they don’t communicate effectively. The truth is that people communicate all the time. Even two people giving each other the silent treatment communicate with each other. A good marriage thrives on the open exchange of emotion, desires and beliefs. In fact, communication is one of the most important aspect of a satisfying marriage. Blaine Fowers, a professor of Counseling Psychology at the University of Miami stated that “Communication skills is one of the most common approaches used to improve couples relationships” (327). According to family Life, communication is “essential to the life of a marriage.” Couples who are aware of their communication styles and responses to conflict confront disagreements more productively. Women most often pursue an argument, men usually retreat. Some couples avoid conflict altogether, until the silence drives a wedge into their intimacy. Communication ends marital conflict. Every couple, no matter how well they communicate in a relationship, has times where they disagree. At the same time, this doesn’t have to turn into a fight. Clifford Notarius, a psychologist maintains that the key to a good marriage “isn’t knowing how to avoid an argument but knowing how to get out of one after it has started.” Understanding why communication is important is the first step to improving communication in a relationship. Jonathan Pettigrew, communication researcher reported “couples who sent text messages...
Words: 1450 - Pages: 6
...reader of the challenges that face marriages in today’s society. It researches the issue of cohabitation before marriage and how people view it whether it is harmful to the marriage or how it can help the marriage be more successful. Another issue that is reviewed is the issue of infidelity. It discusses the problems that arise from infidelity and touches on the reconciliation process that couples have to go through if they have a desire to stay in their marriage. Communication and forgiveness within the marriage is also discussed. Challenging Issues that Face Marriages Today Introduction In the world today, there are a lot of marriages going through some trying times. Parents have put their children first instead of their spouse which have created a barrier between the couple. Some families are dealing with extra effort children that require more time with them and put their spouse on the back burner. Financial burdens have been over whelming for some marriages causing stress, anger and even resentment. The issues that this research paper is going to explore are the challenges of cohabitation, infidelity, communication, and forgiveness. These issues seem to be an important part of marriages that are continually brought forth in many therapy, counseling, and laypersons offices. Premarital Cohabitation Couples will move in together before marriage for many reasons. These reasons include financial situations (fewer bills; mortgage...
Words: 2264 - Pages: 10
...Orbuch studied hundreds of married couples over a twenty-year span. In the article Can we talk? Orbuch explains the role of communication and how this relates to having a happy marriage. The article will explain her findings to strengthen relationships. Moreover, then discuss our relationship experiences with self-disclosure how we may agree with it being satisfying in a relationship or how it may not be. Also, gender differences will be discussed to what type of similarities have been experienced. Some individuals have been at a restaurant or couples on a date that comment on that couple that has been sitting in silence. Sometimes you might independently think are they uninterested irritated, angry or all of the above. This article “can we talk” explains that a British dating site recently set off a comprehensive discussion claiming that a couple married for fifty years will be communicative to each other only three minutes an hour while having an evening meal (Schoenberg, 2011). Although Orbuch a relationship expert sees this as not a concern as she goes on to explain it is not about magnitude, it is the reliable superiority communication Terry Orbuch states, “you can have a two-hour conversation and not talk about anything of substance or value or quality (Schoenberg, 2011). There are many questions how to nurture and maintain the kind of communication that is knotted to long-term marriages (Schoenberg, 2011). When couples are discussing daily routines as of...
Words: 1113 - Pages: 5
...have a relationship with someone it is not because someone is attractive or that person in some way completes them; it is because we know them the most. How we gather this information is through communication. Communication can be verbal or nonverbal, intentional or unintentional, conscious or conscious, and the more we know about the person the more choices we have to decide if a relationship will be built or not. We make choice points in our relationships. According to Ivy & Bucklund (2008), “choice points are moments in a relationship when you make decisions about the future of the relationship” (p. 186). Choice points mean that we have turned our current relationship with a person to another level. For example, a romantic couple makes a decision their relationship as couple will discontinue; however, they decide the two would like to remain friends. The couple has made a choice point change in their relationship that also will affect how the couple communicates. In our relationship we will face obstacles, or roadblocks that affect how we interact and communicate with one another. We either have high expectations about our relationship partner, we think communicating with people should natural based on our personalities, there’s a fear of failure and we never interact with people, or we lose all abilities to communicate because we are intimidated in one form or another. Whatever the roadblock is, it is an obstacle or hurdle that must be overcome or managed in order to...
Words: 260 - Pages: 2
...“Developing Effective Communication in the Marital Relationship” Abstract According to research a couple’s ability to communicate with one another is the single most important contributor to a happy stable and satisfying marriage. According to the current divorce statistics, 50% of marriages end in divorce due to the lack of communication skills and or poor problem solving skills. When communication dissolves between husband and wife, the marital relationship also dissolves. It is vital for couples to ascertain the necessary skills that promote healthy and effective communication. The following paper will outline the interviewed couple’s problems with communication, provide current statistic of married couples who struggle with effective communication, reasons that contribute towards poor communication in marital relationships, and helpful techniques, actions and treatments that are helpful in fostering strong heathy communication between husband and wife. Keywords: marriage, communication, active listening, techniques Introduction After conducting a thorough interview with the Meredith’s, a middle aged married couple, the major problem that was noticed was there inability to effectively communicate in a healthy and respectful manner. The particular area of communication that the couple struggles with involves active listening and nonverbal gestures. Both husband and wife lack the ability to attentively listen to what one another is really saying to each other. While...
Words: 2786 - Pages: 12
...Mask Poor Communication, I feel like this article gave great examples on how love ones can easily misunderstand each other. In a couple of studies, researchers have shown that for many people, couple communication skills with each other aren’t as strong as they think they are. Sometimes what we say can easily be taken the wrong way. For example, my fiancé and I often have misconnections. I think it’s very easy to have miscommunication, or not understand exactly what someone is saying if you’re already not agreeing with someone. The biggest of our miscommunications come from text messaging; I’ve found that it’s easy to have miscommunication with my fiancé through text. I think it’s because when you read a text message from someone, you set the tone on what you are reading based on your mood. When I do find that there has been a miscommunication with him through text, I tend to know right away based on his response. After detecting the poor communication, I always make sure to call right away to clear up the misunderstanding and make sure we both are at least on the same page. In those same studies, it has been shown that spouses sometimes communicate no better that a stranger. According to Savitsky, some couples may in fact be on the same wave length, but may not as much as they think it is. Which was statement made after his experiment with 24 married couples that consisted of the couples sitting in chairs with their backs to each other and tried to figure phrases...
Words: 414 - Pages: 2
...Mask Poor Communication, I feel like this article gave great examples on how love ones can easily misunderstand each other. In a couple of studies, researchers have shown that for many people, couple communication skills with each other aren’t as strong as they think they are. Sometimes what we say can easily be taken the wrong way. For example, my fiancé and I often have misconnections. I think it’s very easy to have miscommunication, or not understand exactly what someone is saying if you’re already not agreeing with someone. The biggest of our miscommunications come from text messaging; I’ve found that it’s easy to have miscommunication with my fiancé through text. I think it’s because when you read a text message from someone, you set the tone on what you are reading based on your mood. When I do find that there has been a miscommunication with him through text, I tend to know right away based on his response. After detecting the poor communication, I always make sure to call right away to clear up the misunderstanding and make sure we both are at least on the same page. In those same studies, it has been shown that spouses sometimes communicate no better that a stranger. According to Savitsky, some couples may in fact be on the same wave length, but may not as much as they think it is. Which was statement made after his experiment with 24 married couples that consisted of the couples sitting in chairs with their backs to each other and tried to figure phrases...
Words: 415 - Pages: 2
...differences may provoke miscommunication, battle, and even frustration between couples. This study looks at the communication styles among men and women, more especially between married couples. It questions how the different genders express their thoughts and feelings that may lead to conflicts. The study will be driven utilizing an in-depth analysis of what causes miscommunication that leads to conflicts. Qualitative research is the method that will be used to gain an in-depth look at why the genders have some of their communication problems. The goal is to increase the amount of awareness regarding communication styles and how it relates better marital communication to aid in the prevention of miscommunication and the decrease a lot of conflicts because of it. Today, divorce has become a very common part of life, and it is likely that ineffective communication plays a crucial role in the failure of many marriages. Communication may lead to the success of a marriage or to its detriment, depending on its level of effectiveness. This effectiveness of communication is likely connected to the overall satisfaction of married couples and is worthy to be studied in order to increase marital satisfaction. Learning more about the differences in communication styles between men and women will aid in the more successful sending and receiving of messages, both verbal and nonverbal. For example, a woman may communicate in a way that has meaning to her. However, the man receiving the message...
Words: 2731 - Pages: 11
...the key to a happier marriage. One must know how to converse collectively, how to listen in and know we are being heard, how to comprehend and convey our feelings and from this, how to get unstuck and start growing again. Communicate! Lack of communication is the number one reason even good relationships fail. And here is a useful format for doing so, especially when dealing with incendiary topics: Listen to your partner's position, without interrupting him. Just listen. When he is finished, summarize what you heard him say. If you can, empathize with your significant other even though you don't agree. This will take your partner off the defensive, and make it easier for him to hear your thoughts and feelings. It's hard to argue when you use this format. While on the other hand, Respect your partner, and don't take him or she for granted. Treating your partner with respect is likely to get you the same in return. And regularly reminding him how much he or she means to you will enrich your relationship in indescribable ways. Don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation with your partner — they will be thankful that you did. What are the fundamental differences that separate happily and unhappily married couples? Happily couple communicates more to each other than unhappily married couples. A Happily married couple expresses the thoughts that they understood what is being said to them, then an unhappily married couple. They have a wider range of subjects available...
Words: 288 - Pages: 2
...Mike. Today is your lucky day for the reason that I will share my knowledge with both of you and set you on a path toward a long-lasting, loving, and healthy relationship. I understand that you two are newly engaged, and were made aware that I was taking a course in Interpersonal Communication; additionally, as a couple you are seeking suggestions and advice regarding your relationship. I will share knowledge from the course material, and from my own life experiences both good and bad to try and assist you any way that I can. In this letter I will discuss strategies for empathic listening, recognizing the power of words, how nonverbal expressions affect relationships, and how to create a positive communication climate. Let me assure you that this letter will certainly serve as a blueprint for ways to better your relationship. I am extremely honored to share some dynamics of interpersonal relationships with you, John and Toula. First, I would like to qualify myself by stating that with the help of God, I have truly been blessed with the most awesome son and with a partner that will stand on my side no matter what; she’s the best. Thus, I know a little bit about how to maintain a long-lasting loving healthy relationship. I would like to share a little bit of information about myself with you. I have been in a relationship with the love of my life for eight years now and we’re still going strong. I’m the father of the most wonderful son that anyone could ask for, he’s...
Words: 2516 - Pages: 11
...Letter of Advice: A Long-lasting Loving Healthy Relationship Demetrice Sterling COM 200 Instructor Moak May 1, 2013 Hi Tim and Sara, My name is xxxxxxxxx I understand that you two are newly engaged, and were made aware that I was taking a course in Interpersonal Communication; additionally, as a couple you are seeking suggestions and advice regarding your relationship. I will share knowledge from the course material, and from my life experiences both good and bad. In this letter I will discuss strategies for empathic listening, recognizing the power of words, how nonverbal expressions affect relationships, and how to create a positive communication climate. Let me assure you that this letter will certainly serve as a footprint for ways to better your relationship. I am extremely honored to share some dynamics of interpersonal relationships with you, Tim and Sara. First I would like to qualify myself by stating that with the help of God, my husband and I celebrated 5 years of marriage on April 19, 2008; thus, I know a little bit about how to maintain a long-lasting loving healthy relationship. Furthermore, the day is your lucky day for the reason that I will share my knowledge with both of you today and set you on a path toward a long-lasting, loving, and healthy relationship. First I want to share a little bit of information about myself. I married my best friend sweetheart in 2008, and we are still together after 5 years. I am the mother of...
Words: 2536 - Pages: 11
...Assignment A ”Living Apart Together” Texts: 1. Rosemary Bennet, “Couples that live apart…stay together”, an article from The Times, May 12, 2007 2. Jill Brooke, “Home alone together”, an article from The New York Times, May 4, 2007 3. Gary Picariello, “Just What Modern Romance Needs”, a comment from Associated Content, March 30, 2007 1. Explain what “Living Apart Together” is, and give an outline for the different views presented in the texts 2 and 3. L.A.T – Living apart together. The name says pretty much already, but this unfamiliar term isn’t for something new upcoming thing but for something that has been very popular for the past couple of years and still is and keeps getting more and more popular. L.A.T is a lifestyle for couples, married or not, but committed to each other, where they choose to live in separate homes. This way of lifestyle is very popular, especially among elderly couples with kids from previous relationships but many younger couples are already living with this concept. In text 2 it is a much discussed subject, because people don’t know how to react when it is something there are not used to. In the text Jill Brooke, the narrator, has an interview with Professor Popenoe from Rutgers. He acknowledges that this lifestyle makes sense for the elderly couple and for divorced couple with kids, which also are those couples whom is mostly living this lifestyle. Especially couples who have kids from previous relationships. Many stepfamilies have trouble...
Words: 1059 - Pages: 5
...studies and a host of theories.' The mere presenceof another has been shown to be arousing and motivating and this in turn influences our behaviour-a process termed compresence (Burgoon et al., 1996). We behave differently in the company of another person from when alone. When we meet others we are 'onstage' and so give a performance that differs from how we behave 'offstage'. We also enjoy interacting, and indeed the act of engaging in facilitative interpersonal communication has been shown to contribute to positive changes in emotional state (Gable and Shean, 2000). While our dealings with others can sometimes be problematic or even contentious, we also seek, relish, and obtain great reward from social interaction. Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication” “Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication” is an article written in U.S. News & World Report in 2011. The article attempts to convince its readers that strangers communicate better than close friends communicate or married couples. The first premise is as people get closer in their relationships that " closeness can cause people to overestimate how well they...
Words: 1053 - Pages: 5
...Theory In order to fall in love there need to be trust, communication, and attraction. Hypothesis Couples who learn to trust each other, communicate by talking about feelings, and are attracted to each other looks, fall in love easier. Prediction Couples who have learned to trust, communicate, and are attracted to one another fall in love and have a better relationship than other couple. Research method I would use an observational study in their own natural environment. The reason is that people show their true character in their own environment. They are usually relaxed and feel safe. I would be careful not to put anyone at risk in their environment that would violate their privacy. I would also look at the works of other researchers to make sure I am concluding my own ideas and not that of others. Describe your subject population: age, gender, education, etc. My population would consist of two groups. Couples that are male and female ranging from the age of 25 to 35 and are engaged or initiated a long term serious relationship. Their education level would be high school graduate to college graduate. How a research method in psychology benefits Research is beneficial today because it adds to information that is already known. Everyone has their own unique idea about situations and when more ideas come together a conclusion is better drawn. Research can be complicated but it helps to answer questions such as why people behave the way they do or why society have certain...
Words: 306 - Pages: 2
... short story Hills like White Elephants. The story by Ernest Hemingway is about a couple who are disussing a abortion procedure, but it is not made so obviuos to the reader. As a result the author uses symbolism to communicate main ideas in the stroy through setting, description and dialouge. The setting of the story uses symbolism to give the reader hints about main ideas. For example, the story takes place near a railraod, which symbolizes couples relationship is at a crossroad. The man and jig are disagreeing on the abortion of the baby. The man wants to have the abortion, while jig is relectant to giving the baby up so easily. Another example is the landcape, the author goes on to write how jig notices the lines of hills. The hills looked white againts the brown and dry valley (Roberts, Zweig 350).The white hills that contrast with brown and dry barren valley represent the choice between life and death. Jig either has to keep the baby, life, or the abort the baby, death. When jig walks to other the end of the station, the author descibes the fields of grain and trees along the Ebro river (Roberts, Zweig 352). This symbolizes the life in her belly. The fertile landscape at the end of the station reminds jig she is pregnant, and she the possibility of keeping her child and having a happy life. In addition to setting, the author uses symbolism to communicate main ideas through description. Jig describes the white hills as elephants. A white...
Words: 705 - Pages: 3
