Free Essay

Anger and Forgiveness

In:

Submitted By Etherea
Words 2771
Pages 12
Anger and the Healing Power of Forgiveness
CED117

Abstract
Anger and the decisions surrounding it can destroy relationships. This paper focuses on the root causes of anger and ways to express it in appropriate ways. It also focuses on the role of forgiveness in moving anger from an emotional reaction or learned behavior to an intellectual activity.

I’M ANGRY. YOU’RE ANGRY.
Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before - it takes something from him. ~ Louis L'Amour

Anger is present all around us. We have a world filled with road raging motorists, angry parents, angry children, and angry teenagers. Everywhere you look there seems to be anger at someone or something in the world. Anger gets a bad rap though on so many fronts. Anger can be a helpful emotion to alert that needs or desires are not being met. However, anger can also sabotage and eat away at our happiness if not handled or if expressed in less than productive ways.

SOURCES OF ANGER
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. ~ Buddha
Anger is considered a primary emotion. Other emotions such as resentment and hate can contribute to or derive from anger. The source of all this emotion can be just about anything. Anger is a signal that some need is not being met, that some desire has been denied. Finding yourself angry is not an uncommon thing. It seems that much of our modern lives tend to breed some kind of anger. Wired for instant access, instant gratification and instant needs being met, the moment there is any delay anger flares.
Anger can be a learned emotion as well. Family interactions train us how to respond to various situations including those that are stressful. Watching how your parents handled stressful situations can be a very telling sign to how you may be handling your own emotional load. Did your father yell when his team lost on Monday night? Did your mother simply keep her emotions in until it was too much and then she would explode with harsh words and even physical violence? Many of your own actions can be found to mimic those very things if you dig back to the experiences of childhood. Much of this type of anger is “a learned reaction verses a learned response.” (Fenton, n.d.)
Elizabeth Fenton states in her paper titled “The Family Tree: The Leading Cause of Anger” that anger is an intergenerational affliction that whether we know it or not we pass down to our children and they to their children. Our everyday interactions teach our children how to respond to situations. If we fall to anger first thing and express it explosively, is it any surprise then when Billy throws his papers in class when he misses a question? Or that Suzie lashes out screaming how unfair her curfew is? These types of reactions were probably modeled by their own parents. Billy watched his father throwing the newspaper when his team makes a mistake and then shout at the television angry and red in the face. Suzie watched her mother screaming at her father how the bills are his fault. (Fenton, n.d.)
Other than learned behavior, there are a number of other things that can trigger feelings of anger. Frustration probably tops the list. Additional things that can influence feelings of anger are anxiety, fatigue, and stress. Just being under a deadline, or having too much to do or not rested enough can all contribute to having a shorter fuse and emotions spiraling into anger easier. Add in substances like drugs or alcohol and the ability to self-regulate emotion is directly affected. There is also a correlation between depression and angry feelings as well as experiencing any kind of trauma, be it directed to yourself or someone else. While these factors may not lead to anger, they are very often found in conjunction not only with expressed anger, but also with anger that is bottled up inside a person because they choose not to express it. (Quirke, 2012)
Anger can take on various forms. Many people view the anger directly expressed, or in the violent rages of lashing out as the most detrimental. There is also the quiet anger, passive aggressive ways that can damage relationships just as deeply as having the good china smashed against the wall. Anger of any sort can lead to resentment and if not expressed it can erupt into relationships years later and destroy with the weight of the resentment and anger that has festered and grown in all that time. (Enright & North, 1998)
In reading on this subject I found some interesting references to a particular amount of anger that is considered to just be everyday run of the mill anger. The reference though made a good point:
“…in everyday life people have specific difficulties. Living with anger at a spouse you are divorcing, she said is different from working with an infuriating employer whom you dislike, feeling angry with a rebellious teenager whom you love, or transcending anger at an abusive parent who is dead.” (Tavris, 1989)
Dealing with each of these described situations truly is a different kind of anger. So does it matter how we handle the anger? Does the situation really change it? Do the people involved matter?
EXPRESSING ANGER
Get mad, then get over it. ~ Colin Powell

How many times have we heard that expressing anger, yelling, venting, and releasing those feelings are cathartic and helpful to expressing anger? Many cultures would find this type of behavior not only uncomfortable but alarming. Examples of how this is considered appropriate are found just in popular American television shows where one character will vent their anger and rail at the situation that they find themselves in. Then in a simple thirty minute episode, minus the onerous commercial interruptions, we can watch as the anger spilling out is forgiven, forgotten and everyone moves on to the happily ever after. At least until next weeks episode. (Rosellini & Worden, 1985)
So much of our culture is built around expressing the emotions that are just beneath the surface. But is this really cathartic? Is it helpful to vent such rage at the objects of our anger? I would argue that many professionals are finding just the opposite is true. Facing such rage from a family member leads to hurt feelings and can traumatize relationships for ages to come. Anger does not come calling just one time, the ripples echo in the communication patterns around them for some time.
Sometimes it takes as much awareness of emotion as it does in facing an addiction to really change behavior patterns that have been present for an entire lifetime. Finding within yourself the ability to recognize there is a problem is the first step to any change. This is true in emotional work as well.
When we focus on what the source of our anger is and focus on what triggers it we can respond and not react. We can focus on asking ourselves what we want to accomplish in the situation. Just simply taking a breath before raging at that grocery store clerk can mean the difference between solving the problem, and raving only to face the feelings afterward. Managing anger is part of knowing yourself and being successful in expressing your needs and desires without tearing down or hurting those around you. (Lerner, 1986/2001)
Learning to identify our triggers, learn new communication styles, change current ways of interacting, and implement them in the changing face of situations are a few of the ways we can handle anger. Learning a different method of hearing and responding takes time. Even when culture tells us that we should be “nice ladies”, being assertive, and expressing our anger in a way that is productive shows that it is not an emotion that should be labeled bad or inappropriate. It is simply one emotion that we express and by doing so we allow others to help meet our needs. (Lerner, 1986/2001)
One of the struggles with changing how we express our anger though is the responses of others. What do you do when you have always been the quiet one, or the yeller, and you choose to change that response? Sometimes that means that the reactions we have always gotten from family or friends change as well. Sometimes that means shock, or a demand that we not change.
In the case of an alcoholic, there is much anger in the family unit. The cessation of drinking is seen as this grand and glorious goal. Once the alcoholic is sober then everything will be perfect and all the problems will be solved! Unfortunately this is not usually the case. Awareness of family dynamics and the underlying emotions is essential. Taking into account the steps mentioned before, awareness of the change you want made, and what you will do to accomplish it is essential. As is being willing to focus on what we can change, our own reactions and responses. Angry feelings are normal. Learning to accept this and to allow ourselves to screw up sometimes means we have a much better chance to facilitate change in ourselves and our relationships. (Rosellini & Worden, 1985)
Many of these tools focus on moving emotion from the realm of emotion to an intellectual level. Once we have taken that breath, stepped back, we see the emotion, we feel it, but we can handle it as what it is and not let the physiological response drive us. That intellectual ability to ask ourselves the simple questions in the heat of the moment: is the hill to fight and die on? Are your actions appropriate to the situation or over the top? Can you change the situation or people involved in some way? And the question that should be a tipping point is this worth it? Can your anger be focused to be positive and motivate you to change? I’d say there are many situations in history of anger used for good ends. The Boston Tea Party is a blazing example of anger used to create change. Is that the appropriate response to every situation? This is something only the individual can answer, and something the individual must face the consequences of their answer. (Walker, 1976/2010)
Being aware is important. We are making changes. We are focusing on taking that extra breath and what we need to do to facilitate change. Is there anything more that we can do to express anger and still be expressive but moderated?
FORGIVENESS
You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well. ~ Lewis B. Smedes
How do we move past the things or people that we feel have wronged us in a way that is healthy? Forgiveness is not for the person we view as the perpetrator of the crime against us that sparked our emotional response. Forgiveness is for us. So much of the anger and hurt we carry around hurts us in stress, and physical ailments from stress. (Walker, 1976/2010)
Simply by acknowledging that everyone makes mistakes can take the sting out of our anger at a situation. Acknowledging the humanness of others and allowing that they did the best they could in a situation creates the space for forgiveness and a greater understanding. Forgiving others allows us to let go of the burden and weight of the hate, anger, resentment and other bitter emotions that can poison our interactions with others and destroy our relationships. This applies whether it is a store clerk who shorted us on our change, or the child who broke the vase your grandmother left you in her will. Forgiveness helps to release the emotional burden and allows those around us to be human. (Rosellini & Worden, 1985)
This does not mean that it removes responsibility. However, being possessed of the mind of “you are human” means that pointing out to the clerk that your change was incorrect calmly and with receipt in hand is much more pleasant for all involved to resolve the situation than the spittle flying as epithets and personal digs are taken that denigrate the person and do nothing to resolve the issue. Holding to your emotions and helping the child repair the vase, clean it up, or even sharing why it meant so much and why you are upset is bound to build a relationship of trust with the child, rather than screaming and calling them names. (Rosellini & Worden, 1985)
Sometimes you have to let go and forgive because holding on means hurting yourself. In the case of addiction, the addict may not even care or recognize that they have hurt you. They are in their own place on their journey. Their focus may be simply on being sober and their own anger may keep them from making amends for the anger in you. This does not mean that you do not protect yourself. Especially in cases of addiction, there are relapses and behaviors that are dangerous. Maintaining boundaries while still expressing your feelings is a precarious line to walk. Forgiving the addict and wishing them well though frees you to move on and remove yourself from their cycle of addiction and the pressure of their expectations.
What about forgiving ourselves? Can we put these same things to work for ourselves to find the peace of acceptance? I believe so. In fact forgiving ourselves is just another step in recognizing that some need is now being met. We find all of the faults, the emotions, we recognize, we work to overcome, and in the end we forgive and start over. Every single day we find ways to continue to address our emotions, express them, to make amends for others we may hurt, forgive them and ourselves, and then step on again. This is the way of life and of learning to become the best self that we can be.
CONCLUSION
When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future. ~ Bernard Meltzer
Anger is a dance that can take emotional and physical tolls on us. Anger alone is not anything bad, it simply is an emotional response to not having needs met. Holding on to anger can have long range impact on our health and well-being. Learning ways to cope with anger and to express anger give us ways to move this to an intellectual place where we can make changes and logically address the emotion, not just react. Forgiveness then becomes a way of coping with anger at those around us and with ourselves. We learn to forgive others and ourselves for being human and make it okay to make mistakes. Ultimately our relationships improve and we grow to understand ourselves better. Now if only there were a logical way to deal with the technology and devices in our world. Finding forgiveness for your modem for dropping out on your research paper seems to come a little harder than forgiving spilled milk.
References
Brainy Quote. (2012). Retrieved from http://www.brainyquote.com/
Enright, Robert., & North, Joanna. (1998). Exploring Forgiveness. Retrieved October 1, 2012, from Google Books Web site: http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=TwnxRMunnqEC&oi=fnd&pg=PA63&dq=anger+and+healing+processes&ots=9BrbzxHoqP&sig=O4CKHTc-eC2vyvS5gDZ5toMPuwc#v=onepage&q=anger%20and%20healing%20processes&f=false
Fenton, Elizabeth. (n.d.). The Family Tree: The Leading Cause of Anger. Retrieved September 10, 2012, from elizabethfenton.com Web site: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYxmS4UNrWY
Lerner, Harriet. (2001). The Dance of Anger: A Woman;s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships. New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc. (Original work published 1986)
Quirke, Michael G. (2012). The Secret Roots of Irritation. Retrieved September 9, 2012, from michaelgquirke.com Web site: http://michaelgquirke.com/roots-of-anger-and-irritation/
Rosellini, Gayle., & Worden, Mark. (1985). Of Course You're Angry: A Family Guide to Dealing With the Emotions of Chemical Dependence. San Francisco: Harper & Row, Publishers. Tavris, Carol. (1989). Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion. Retrieved September 30, 2012, from Google Books Web site: http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=9NMsTpe1bAUC&oi=fnd&pg=PA11&dq=source+%2B+emotion+%2B+anger&ots=PrwR_ro8R6&sig=arJGwdz23DuYTIf_cHhVql-yuKI#v=onepage&q=source%20%2B%20emotion%20%2B%20anger&f=false
Walker, Velma. (2010). Becoming Aware (11th ed.) (Ray; Largent. Wood, Ed.). Dubuque, IA: Kendall Hunt Publishing Company. (Original work published 1976)

Similar Documents

Premium Essay

Etymological Analysis Of Forgiveness

...This form of forgiveness is a business transaction that involves a creditor absolving the debtor from paying back a debt. Dictionary.com defines this aspects of forgiveness as a financial pardoning of debts: “To give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.) (Dictionary.com para.2). In this manner, forgiveness has nothing to do with an emotional pardon, but it is more related to relieving a financial burden of a debt by the creditor. For instance, a banking institution has given a loan to a local business, which has failed to successfully pay back the loan. Due to a bad economy, the government may allow the business to declare bankruptcy, which would forgive the individual owner(s) of the business for not paying back the loan. Under these dire circumstances, the government and the bank may forgive the loan (and the recurring interest that ahs been accruing on the loan) due to the impossibility of the debtor paying back the loan. This is an important interpretation of forgiveness, since it is often utilized in business or financial language as a way to relieve the debt of an individual. This is why the word ‘forgive” is primarily asking the creditor to “give up all claims” on the debt in order to resolve an extremely difficult financial circumstance. At first, a creditor or banker may not understand the emotional definition of...

Words: 904 - Pages: 4

Free Essay

Forgiveness

...The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy Journal Article Revi Liberty University The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy Summary Emotional abuse is one of the lasting effects of spousal abuse that will last longer than any bruise. Long after the abuse, women tend to demonstrate many lingering psychological effects, as this type of abuse may represent a betrayal of trust that may lead to negative outcomes for the one being abused (Reed & Enright, 2006). Spousal psychological abuse is s horse of different colors to include criticizing, ridiculing, jealous control, threats of abandonment, harm, damage to personal property, and purposeful ignoring (Reed & Enright, 2006). Some lasting effects from the psychological abuse include depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, learned helplessness, and even ongoing resentment of the abuser. Out of many that suffer the emotional/psychological abuse, few seek treatment. There is little treatment recommended for this type of abuse as there is lack of evidence that any may work. Brief therapy is recommended with a focus on anger validation and interpersonal skill building, however, forgiveness therapy is a new form of treatment that focuses on forgiving an injustice and with helping with anxiety and depression as well as improving self-esteem (Reed & Enright, 2006, p.920). This therapy targets the ongoing resentment that can lead to the depression, anxiety, anger, and other psychological disparities (Reed & Enright, 2006...

Words: 1102 - Pages: 5

Free Essay

Reflecting on Pastoral Counseling

...Pastoral Counseling Reflection Paper Joyce Gerald Liberty University Table of Contents Abstract 3 Rationale for Class Enrollment 4 Handling Anger with Online Clients 5 Is it Easier to Label than Support? 6 The Hardest Thing to Counsel an Individual about is Forgiveness 7 Conclusion 9 References 11 Abstract The author presents a reflection on the class content presented during the first week of PACO 500:BO1. The author has limited pastoral counseling experiences that stem from an online ministry. The majority of the counseling experiences are conducted online view confidential instant messaging and or a closed prayer group. The construct of pastoral care through the medium of counseling is an area of interest that warrants further study and research. The support materials presented through class lectures have afforded the author a clinical and biblical viewpoint of pastoral counseling. The processes and methodologies presented in the readings infer that all person who are in need of counseling benefit from the materials presented in this class. The lecture notes and online resources provided for pastoral care fledglings under pines the foundation that is being laid for effective pastoral counseling. The readings for week one are the main focus of this reflection. Rationale for Class Enrollment Being the leader of an online ministry is a daunting task at best. However, providing the type of care, counseling, and communication within this venue...

Words: 2434 - Pages: 10

Premium Essay

Lin Article Critique Part 1

...Running head: LIN ARTICLE CRITIQUE 1 Article Critique Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Anger, Mood, and Vulnerability to Substance Abuse Among Inpatient Substance-Dependent Clients Liberty University C. Campbell March 31, 2013 LIN ARTICLE CRITIQUE 2 Introduction In the article Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Anger, Mood and Vulnerability to Substance Use Among Inpatient Substance-Dependent Clients (Lin 2004) the researchers wanted to test Forgiveness Therapy (FT) as a tool for treating clients dealing with substance abuse related to negative emotional overload. They focused on anxiety, depression and anger which, according to Lin, are triggers for substance abuse (2004, pg. 1114). They set out to talk and interview forty three potential participants who were recommended by their counselors from a residential drug rehabilitation center. This population was chosen due to the rigid course of treatment they were already receiving from the treatment facility in response to the personal calamity being experiences by the client. These were the most severe cases since they usually experienced repeated relapses, petty crimes and a lower motivation for change. While conducting the research what they found was not really surprising but rather normal for this group of clients. The participation started to fall off and by the end of the research they had fallen to less than half of the original...

Words: 1524 - Pages: 7

Free Essay

Lin Article

... Lin Title and Introduction Article Critique This article is based on the potential benefits of forgiveness therapy. The authors, Lin et al, show interest in forgiveness therapy for inpatient substance-dependent clients and whether it will help to reduce anger, depression, anxiety, self-esteem, forgiveness, and vulnerability to drug use. Lin et al noticed that the level of anger and violence was higher in alcohol and other substance abusers in comparison to the general population, as recorded in previous studies. It is believed that certain triggers, anger and frustration, can cause relapse in both intrapersonal and interpersonal areas (Marlatt, 1985). Lin et al reviews previous study results based on the typical alcohol and drug therapy (Cognitive-Behavior therapy) where the participants are encouraged to be aware of their anger but not necessarily to decrease their anger or negative emotions. However, one study conducted by Reilly and Shopshire showed a decrease in levels of anger and an increase in anger control with a group of Pos -traumatic Stress disorder patients. The article refers to a group of researchers who have worked towards developing a new therapeutic approach to anger termed forgiveness therapy. They believe that unforgiveness can become problematic. The forgiveness therapy makes the recipients aware of forgiveness and not condoning of past injustices. The individual is given the choice to decide to forgive and learning the skills...

Words: 1154 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Article Critique

...Running head: LIN ARTICLE CRITIQUE 1 Article Critique Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Anger, Mood, and Vulnerability to Substance Abuse Among Inpatient Substance-Dependent Clients Liberty University March 31, 2013 LIN ARTICLE CRITIQUE 2 Introduction In the article Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Anger, Mood and Vulnerability to Substance Use Among Inpatient Substance-Dependent Clients (Lin 2004) the researchers wanted to test Forgiveness Therapy (FT) as a tool for treating clients dealing with substance abuse related to negative emotional overload. They focused on anxiety, depression and anger which, according to Lin, are triggers for substance abuse (2004, pg. 1114). They set out to talk and interview forty three potential participants who were recommended by their counselors from a residential drug rehabilitation center. This population was chosen due to the rigid course of treatment they were already receiving from the treatment facility in response to the personal calamity being experiences by the client. These were the most severe cases since they usually experienced repeated relapses, petty crimes and a lower motivation for change. While conducting the research what they found was not really surprising but rather normal for this group of clients. The participation started to fall off and by the end of the research they had fallen to less than half of the original commitment...

Words: 1522 - Pages: 7

Premium Essay

Lin Article Critic Ii

...II This paper will review Lin article, Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Anger, Mood, and Vulnerability to Substance use among Inpatient Substance-dependent Clients, and critic population of the study vs. population of interest, Operationalization aspects, Evaluation of DV measurement, and Evaluation of DV measurement. Lin, Wei-Fen. Mack, D, Enright, R, Krahn Dean, &Thomas Baskin (2004), states that the level of anger and violence observed among alcohol and substance abusers are far higher than the levels found in the general population, and coping skills have been implemented in many substance abuse programs to teach patients how to become aware of their anger and also manage their emotions effectively. Many researchers have directed their focus on Forgiveness Therapy (FT) as an alternative option to any other treatment for patients to overcome their emotional bondage, which leads them to misuse alcohol and dependency to controlled substances. The hypothesis in this study is that Forgiveness Therapy decreases the frequency and severity of anger, anxiety, and depression, and patients in residential treatment for alcohol and drug dependency have demonstrated less anger and urge towards drug use after receiving this treatment. Critic of Population of the Study This study, which took place in a residential drug rehabilitation facility, targeted the effects of Forgiveness Therapy in decreasing the frequency and severity of anger, anxiety, and depression in the recovery of substance-dependent...

Words: 1117 - Pages: 5

Premium Essay

Lin Critic

...Lin Article Critique: Part 3 Dustin T. Rheel Liberty University Counseling 503, D22 Professor Carlene Taylor December 9, 2012 Percentages are reported widely in academic journals to support a researcher’s findings. The percentages or numbers are utilized either support or reject the hypothesis. When a researcher does not utilize numbers or percentages whiting researcher it tends to mislead individuals who are reading the article. The Lin article started with 40 participants in the beginning of the study and by the end of the study they were left with 14 participants (Lin, Mack, Enright, Krahn, and Baskin article, 2004). The post test results examined the reaming 14 participants, seven in the experimental group and seven in the controlled group. Four months after the experiment, six of the experimental group remained available for follow up testing. In the controlled group only four participants were available for the same follow up testing. Lin et al. (2004) noted that during the research process participation varied among both the experimental and controlled groups. When reviewing the article it was noted that Line et al. (2004) did not distinguish between the pre-test scores and the post-test scores, making it difficult to compare the pre and post test results. When assessing whether the reader is able to understand the data presented, it is shown to be misleading to the readers. This is due to the inconsistent data. In addition some of the percentages are...

Words: 1743 - Pages: 7

Premium Essay

Resilence

...is of a Holocaust survivor who spoke about the bitterness that remains in himself about Nazi’s treated him and other POW’s, “If you could lick my heart, it would poison you” (Thomas). To some, crimes like the Holocaust may seem unforgivable, from a religious aspect, it is a Christian obligation. But many could argue that one cannot commit such cruelty and evil and simply be forgiven, so crimes like the holocaust may seem unforgiveable but it is evident by many researchers and scholars that in fact they have found that forgiveness plays a crucial role in the ex- Prisoners of war emotional healing to be able to lead a resilient life after such traumatic events. Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life. But forgiving allows you to help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Understanding that everyone may or may not deserve forgiveness no matter the person or act is a universal debatable topic; standing from a religious or spiritual aspect it may be a Christian obligation. For example the verse Mark 11:25 “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too” (NIV). Several of the former war prisoners are forgiving their ex-captors for claiming the...

Words: 1445 - Pages: 6

Free Essay

Forgiveness

...the topic of forgiveness Chasity Webster PSY 400 Martin Methodist College Forgiveness is one of the most compassionate things that we can do for one another. The term is greatly misinterpreted and because of this it is not often given in the truest sense of the word. Forgiveness requires finding and feeling compassion and then being able to let go of anxiety, anger and yearning for revenge. Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. In an article reviewing compassion, the authors define compassion as the feeling that arises in witnessing another’s suffering and that motivates a subsequent desire to help. The definition theorizes compassion as an affective state defined by a specific independent feeling, and it differs from treatment of compassion as an attitude (Goetz & et. al 2010). According to Webster’s Third Edition, to forgive is to cease to feel resentment against, on accord of wrong committed, to give up claim to requital from or retribution upon an offender, to absolve; pardon. Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting...

Words: 2903 - Pages: 12

Premium Essay

Cause and Effect of Forgiving

...wound that can be long-lasting, and can affect others as well. The anger and bitterness a victim carries can be used as vengeance on the perpetrator. It is at this point that forgiveness can play a vital role. Many people do not realize the impact of choosing whether to forgive or not. If forgiveness is not the chosen path, the victim can be the one who suffers the most. The act of hurt will always remain a part of the victim’s life. But if forgiveness is acted upon, he or she can end up with a lighter weight emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. With a new perspective, the person can focus on the importance of life again. People view forgiveness and the purpose of it differently. From the writer of Mayo Clinic’s article, Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness, forgiveness is described as “a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge” (Mayo Clinic 2). WebMD describes forgiveness as a gift that you give freely to those who have hurt you, as opposed to something you give to yourself. (Valeo 1) WebMD does not vividly describe forgiveness as a whole; instead, it breaks it into two categories: decisional forgiveness and emotional forgiveness. Decisional forgiveness is a mental activity, with minor actions toward the person in the wrong. You tell yourself that you will not seek revenge (the thought) and avoid that person (the action). Decisional forgiveness does have its negative battles. Even though you have it figured out...

Words: 1388 - Pages: 6

Premium Essay

Journal Article Review

...and resentment of the abuser that persists even when the abuse ends. There have not been designated therapies designed to help these women. Gayle L. Reed and Robert D. Enright (2006) examine the roles forgiveness therapy has on emotionally abused women in the article The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression, Anxiety, and Posttraumatic Stress for Women After Spousal Emotional Abuse. According to Reed and Enright (2006), forgiveness therapy is designed to help the client let go of the anger and resentment that stems from a justifiable wrongdoing. The researchers believe that forgiveness therapy will be beneficial to the women who were emotionally abused by their spouse because it targets the resentment the woman has for the abuser. These emotionally abused women often times experience learned helplessness and accusatory suffering. Learned helplessness often occurs when women develop self-blame in response to their abusive spouse’s criticism and ridicule. Whereas accusatory suffering is when the emotional abused spouse continues to feel like the victim and hold onto the resent. Because of the nature of emotional spousal abuse, forgiveness therapy can be very beneficial (Gayle & Enright, 2006). Gayle and Enright (2006) hypothesized that women who participate in forgiveness therapy will have lower levels of depression, anxiety, and posttraumatic stress and higher levels of self-esteem, finding meaning in their suffering, and environmental mastery than those in the alternative...

Words: 1602 - Pages: 7

Premium Essay

Forgiveness: Article Analysis

...In a perfect Utopia world, humans are born without flaws and live in a perfect world. How awesome would it be to live in a place where no hurt is present and forgiveness is unnecessary? Sounds like Heaven right? However, the act to forgive is one of the most challenging aspects of human life. It is difficult to display the act of forgiveness, especially when pain and pride is at the center of one’s heart. Often times, this act can be taken as weakness rather than strength. The Merriam- Webster definition for forgive is “to stop feeling angry or resentful toward an individual for an offense, flaw, or mistake”. This Journal Article Review will discuss intervention studies on forgiveness and obtain the following sections: summary, reflection, and application. It will also highlight forgiveness case studies and define forgiveness according to findings within the research analysis. The quote “Forgive, but never forget” is an oxymoron...

Words: 1310 - Pages: 6

Free Essay

Lin Article 2

...Lin Article Critique: Part 11 Tabitha Orr Phone: 404-472-7914 Liberty University COUN 503 Dr. Heckler February 17, 2013 Summary This particular article Effect of Forgiveness Therapy on Anger, Mood, and Vulnerability to Substance Use among Inpatient Substance-Dependent Clients looks deeper into the effects of Forgiveness Therapy on anger, mood, and vulnerability to substance abuse among impatient substance-dependent clients. The group of researchers consisted of Wei-Fen Lin, David Mack, Robert Enright, Dean Krahn, and Thomas Baskin came together to gather more information in forgiveness therapy focusing on certain targets such as anger, anxiety, and depression. The group of researchers gathered 14 patients with substance dependence and began weekly alternative individual treatment sessions with each client. After the time frame for the study had ended there was a four month period that showed the positive effects of forgiveness therapy. As stated within the article, “Forgiveness therapy may prove effective in the future because it moves to the heart of the matter of some clients. Deep hurts borne out of unfair treatment seem to play a part in substance use and abuse,” (Lin, Mack, Enright, Krahn, Baskin, 1119). The group of researchers recruited the population for this study from a drug rehabilitation center that offers intense, structured, residential treatment to individual suffering from alcohol and other drug dependencies. There were forty-three potential participants...

Words: 1569 - Pages: 7

Premium Essay

A Refection

...“Family will always have problems, but may you never add to them! Instead, be living example of love, forgiveness, and care.” Family will always be my greatest strength, and my weakest point. I could still remember the day before I write this paper work. I was at the classroom with my teacher and with one of my classmates then, who is a contestant for extemporaneous speaking contest. My teacher taught my classmate on how to give a good flow of answer in extemporaneous speaking. She taught him this flow: POINT-REASON-POINT. I never thought of something significant about that when it comes to me, until I started writing this paper work. It may sound pathetic, but I can remember how I worked out to renew my relationship with my family through this flow. Renew, from being a little bit distant from my family. Before, I was not this close to my mom, dad, and sister. I used to argue with them, especially when I know that what they were trying to accuse on me was not true. I’m so proud. I’m not used in making way for forgiveness. If today I hate them, I would hate them until they would take the first step towards reconciliation. I even came to the point of making my mom cry and chasing my sister with a knife. See how pathetic I was? But as I went here in Cebu, everything had changed. I can say that some of the reasons for this change are the people I am with in our home here in Cebu. They made me realize this POINT: No matter what, family is family. ...

Words: 754 - Pages: 4