Free Essay

Cracking Down on Vicky Pollard Minions

In: English and Literature

Submitted By xmmajo
Words 500
Pages 2
Cracking down on Vicky Pollard minions
To parents, carers, and grandparents of Woodfalls. I need your help to stop a certain monstrosity, that I’m sure affects us all and want to abolish. A lot of us marvel technology, cherish it, and depend on it. We come into contact with it nearly every day in our forever advancing world. Unless you are acquiring education by attending a boarding school run by nuns. For this, I will make an exception.
What I am hoping to express to you, is something very disturbing, shocking, and monstrous. Something that is slowly sucking the joy out of being under 10 years of age. Something that needs to be abolished from the 21st century. If it has not already caught your attention, I’m talking about the accumulating amount of tiny children misusing technology and clothing for the hope of gaining popularity and looking ‘more mature’. Bloody ridiculous, isn’t it. I find it as ridiculous as seeing a Poodle in clothing. It’s pointless, shocking, and in some cases just sick. But at least the Poodle probably knows how ridiculous it looks.
This may not come as shocking to you, until you learn the age of the girl you just saw walking down the street. With a revolting Pauls Boutique handbag, revealing clothing and their face glued into the latest iPhone or Blackberry. I presume they think that they are making themselves look like a more mature, older being. When in fact all they are doing is making drivers forever live in fear of a tiny wannabe Katie Price walking into a busy road with their head stuck in their diamante encrusted iPhone, and a pair of unstable, inappropriate, shiny, squeaky shoes.
You must be thinking, ‘Christ, she sounds like an old woman’. But I feel this issue really needs to be addressed and abolished from the 21st century for the sake of the next generation of young children, which may fall victim to the same desire of wearing such nauseating clothing for their age. The same as the children that seem to be oblivious to the fact they look like miniature chavs, which will most likely get pregnant or have some kind of criminal warning by their early teens. Vicky Pollard minions to give you more of an idea.
I pity the fact that in their future years, they will not have the thrill of finding a 7 year old Furby in the attic, realizing it still works, but then being subject to the horror of the eerie noises it now makes. Then not knowing what to do with it now the noises won’t stop, even when you turned it back off again. Resulting in you having to beat your childhood companion round the head until the noises stop. What an upsetting time that was. They will also not have the joys of Mario, Tamagotchi, the PS2, Pokemon, Lego, and other games like this that most of the people my generation had the joy of experiencing.

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