The Effects of Verbal and Nonverbal Cues on Interpersonal Communications

Jorge Fernandez Professor Steven Muniz Communication 13 December 2012

Many people nowadays are discriminated against. No, I’m not talking about skin color or ethnicity. I’m talking about body language and tone of voice. It doesn’t matter what color or sex you are. You are constantly being judged and examined by your peers. Not much you can do about it except embrace it and use it to your advantage.

Correcting your image has its way of defining how you are perceived instantaneously. Breaking down your image you may realize it is actually made up of things such as body language, tone of voice, and appearance. All important, but equal in different ways. For example your body language might get you through the door, but once you open your mouth the jigs up. Or perhaps you are very well spoken, yet people refuse to take you seriously because you are filthy and smell.

Social customs are also a big determinant in the way one must act for approval of his peers. What may be customary here may not be accepted 1000 miles away and probably has a completely different meaning 5000 miles away. That is why one must always be away of the customs of the area.

Men like Ray Birdwhistell and Paul Eccman have made numerous contributions to the field of study now known as kinesics, or the study of body language, and lastly the tone of your voice. The most important key to having someone hear you and noise or understand you as poetry.

What is life? This question is an axiom. For the sake of this paper life is the way we perceive one another. In this unique pre-­‐future era in which we live, to do nearly anything in life interpersonal communication is required. A connection with someone must be made in order to purchase lunch, or buy a movie ticket, or make a serious deal. And it’s no question that we all have the ability to read someone’s body language as they go about their lives. For example through a simple examination of someone’s image we can decode whether they’re outgoing, or lethargic, happy or depressed.

I ask myself how do I know this? After all I’ve never taken any classes on

body language. I know for a fact however when someone is sad by the tone of their voice or the tears on their face. Also I know whether someone is homeless or a millionaire on Wall Street, or a ghetto hood rich Cuban or Puerto Rican. All this information simply gathered through ones image. The single key to communicate louder then any word you can yell is by dressing appropriately and knowing how to carry yourself.

The obvious root of all this is self-­‐esteem, according to “Essential Elements for

Effectiveness 5th edition” self esteem has is roots not only learning but in genetics as well. Meaning twins split apart at birth and raised in different countries would have similar quarks thanks to their genetic makeup. Self-­‐esteem can impact everything from how you walk to how to dress and speak. Every aspect of your image is based on your self-­‐esteem. That’s why it is so vital to develop a solid self esteem this second. This means you could be an ugly monster, like me, but if your completely

confident in yourself, you defiantly wont be the guy who doesn’t get laid until he’s 25. And boy is that awesome.

In the mid 20th century Ray Birdwhistell developed a new branch of

anthropology known as kinesics, or body language. According to a 1994 article published at the time of his death, Ray believed “only about 30 to 35 percent of communication took the form of words. The rest had to be translated from an unwritten body language whose grammar included finger twitches, leg crossings, nose tugs, chin strokes and scores of other subtle indicators.” With 65 to 70 percent of communication being leaked through bodies, and with 80 percent of our subconscious minds causing the leak, its no surprise the need to tame the body a vital necessity for success.

Recently I took a business trip to Caracas, Venezuela. Now not to toot my own horn but having worked in retail and having the majority of my friends in their mid 20s I know a thing or two about style, and how to dress properly. How the belt should match the shoes and never wearing two different patterns ect. However my father had to have instructed me to dress formally at least a dozen times. The reason? Professional individuals only work with people who have it going on like they do. If someone is dressed in board shorts and flip-­‐flops in a professional setting they will not be taken seriously, unless their sick at what they do.

Self image can be broken down into several sub categories but body language is by far the most important one. So important that in major court cases, body language experts are brought in to tell whether a person is telling the truth or not. Touching the face is often linked to lying or withholding information as well as over

blinking or holding an unblinking stare. One must display body language that implies confidence, charisma, and power. Paralinguistic gestures are among the best way to see who is more dominant in a debate and likely who will win.

It is ingrained in out DNA to look for certain features in our opposing mate.

For men things such as defined jaw bone and deep voice indicate full development and masculinity, this indicating the subject has a healthy full working immune system. Same goes for the ladies full breasts and thighs are looked as very attractive. A shallow voice also indicative of proper estrogen levels, thus making the subject healthy and ready to mate. All these features that we cant imagine having any other way are actually ingrained not my society but by the animal inside of us.

Something that can be a relatively new topic for exploration could be how

women find men who drive nice cars more attractive then men driving a hoopty. By hoopty I mean a beat up Honda civic from 1998. Just how a thousand years ago women would have felt attraction towards a man only for the physical features stated above, now women chase a life style of luxury and vacation. And a Bugatti pulling up doesn’t say much else except money. Money also gives you confidence and health, confidence equates to elevated posture, shoulders back and steady eye contact when speaking. Yoga also corrects your posture and body language by aligning your spine, this can also give you positive body language, which is always beneficial.

Body language also varies much from culture to culture. Not knowing social

customs of an area is the first mistake a businessman can make when presenting to someone of a different culture. For example what we know as the peace sign here in

the USA can be translated to “victory” in Germany, “up yours (insult)” in Britain, Australia, New Zealand, and Malta, and in ancient Rome the gesture meant you wanted five beers. You can see how much a simple gesture changes over distances.

One that I thought was funny was the rock and roll sign where you hold down your middle and ring finger. Here it is a sign of approval, to carry on, coolness, over in the Mediterranean the same sign means that your wife in unfaithful. Who would have known?! In the Middle East two men holding hands is a sign of mutual respect, as demonstrated in this photo of Pakistani President Asid Ali Zandariit with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

I wouldn’t recommend doing that anywhere here in the States though or most Latin countries for that matter.

A nonverbal greeting I experienced first hand is when meeting girl from out

of town. Being raised in Miami I’ve always greeted girls with a kiss on the cheek, always. People from up north however never do that and when you do it to them they often feel awkward and laugh. I suppose this could be labeled a sub cultural social standard. Lastly I want to cover the tone of voice in connection to how well your message is taken. According to an article by Judith Filek of Impact communications, “To exceed customer expectations, your voice must consistently sound upbeat, warm, under control, and clear.” Many things can affect your voice, such as bad posture, hypersensitivity to caffeine, anxiety and other emotions and physical blockades. Again in the court room voice is a key determiner in how you are read, at times what you say and how your voice sound don’t match up, and this can lead to red flags in your testimony. Matter of fact they not have computer software to do just that perfectly, decode human speech and tell what is truth, what is being stressed, and what is a blatant lie.

It is called LVA. Or Layered Voice Analysis. LVA has and is being used in, according to their company’s website, “various security related activities such as formal police investigations, security clearances, secured area access control, intelligence source questioning, and hostage negotiation.” They also go as far as to say that “enables a better understand of your subjects mental state and emotional makeup at a given moment by detecting the emotional content of his or her speech

when responding to questions” That is intense. Personally I’ve seen videos of the system in action and its pretty accurate.

In closing we must remember to always be aware of our bodies. Our subconscious, which dominates 80% of your brain, is constantly allowing out bodies to show what we really feel inside. This is not good especially is dangerous situations. We must remember to keep our self-­‐esteem elevated and posture will follow.

Making sure to know the customs of a culture before you visit or do business is not only a smart thing to do but also a necessity for success. A compliment here may be an insult somewhere else, and theirs nothing worse then insulting someone’s who money your trying to invest in your dream.

We can thank men like Ray Birdwhistell for his innovations in this field for their work was innovative and the first in its kind. We have the guidelines for success. Keeping out image clear and free of stains is also necessary for accomplishment. Whether it’s our tone, appearance or body language. They are all important and should all be operating in unison to create a harmony of charm for your subject.

Citations

Http://hotword.dictionary.com/author/jay/, Hot Word. "How Much Talking Does Your Body Do?" Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com, 3 Oct. 2012. Web. 13 Dec. 2012.

Wallace, Andy. "Ray Birdwhistell; Developed The Study Of Body Language."Philly.com. Inquirer Staff Writer, 22 Oct. 1994. Web. 13 Dec. 2012.

Filek, Judith. "Your Tone Of Voice Affects How People Respond To You."Http://www.impactcommunicationsinc.com/pdf/nwsltr_2001/ICINwsltrph0106. pdf. Impact Communications Inc., June 2001. Web. 13 Dec. 2012.

Schandorf, Michael. "Mediated Gesture: Paralinguistic Communication & Phatic Text | Michael Schandorf -­‐ Academia.edu." Mediated Gesture: Paralinguistic Communication & Phatic Text | Michael Schandorf -­ Academia.edu. N.p., July 2011. Web. 13 Dec. 2012.

Toastmasters, Westside. "Cultural Differences." Cultural Differences. Westside Toastmasters, For Public Speaking and Leadership Education, n.d. Web. 13 Dec. 2012.

Namesysco. "The LVA (Layered Voice Analysis) Technology." Layered Voice Analysis. Namestsco Voice Analysis Technologies, 2000. Web. 13 Dec. 2012.

Abascal, Juan R., Laurel Brucato, Patricia Stephenson, and Dominic Brucato. Essential Elements for Effectiveness: Optimal Functioning through Positive Psychology. Boston, MA: Pearson, 2012. Print.