Observation/Reaction/Reflection paper

Marriage and Family Therapy

* Ala-non
6/6/2015 Saturday 8:00 P.M Alanon Meeting Hall 17751 Sherman W ay Reseda * Adult Child of Alcoholics
5/10/2015 Sunday 1:15 PM ACA SOS meeting Hall "Daily Affirmation Book Meeting" - Meeting Based on Our Daily Meditation Book * Alcoholics Anonymous
5/11/2015 Monday 8:00 PM AA Young People North Hollywood Hall
6/8/2015 Tuesday 7:30 PM AA New Start Beginners Meeting 20440 Lassen St (Church)
6/15/2015 Monday Noon Old Timers Mtg at Valley Club * Narcotics Anonymous
5/31/2015 Sunday 3:00 PM NA meeting Radford Hall * Codependents Anonymous
6/16/2015 Tues 7:30 pm CODA Women’s Meeting Granada Hills
6/18/2015 Thurs. 7:30 pm CODA Tarzana Group Thursday

Alcoholics Anonymous came into being in June 1935.The fundamentals of the 12 step programs has remained the same since 1935, however today the twelve steps are helping people with more than alcohol. Today many 12 step program have form and also alternative 12 step programs with more God or God being removed but at the basis level it is the twelve steps. I also believe the twelve steps are just basic tools that all people need or most people have received the basis tools when growing up in a healthy family system. The 12 steps teach humility, respect, honest, caring, and to be of service, these are the essential for all people. I always share with people who want to DO the twelve steps but don’t know which program they qualify for, I just say pick one. Find a group that works for you find your tribe like the big book says. I remember meeting someone that gave a message from Mother Theresa and she said the message was to remember “we do much bigger work that she ever did, we touch the lives of the hopeless and give them hope” Mother Theresa. That is powerful, Twelve Step programs transform lives. I have been a twelve step member for over twenty years, I find it interesting in how others respond to the “12 step movement”, and people have so many prejudices and judgement, which are there truth, but Contempt prior to investigation. I am glad to see how this assignment required all classmates to have 12 step exposure, a good or bad experience. This assignment allowed me to expand my personal 12 step knowledge and apply textbook information into real life observation. My personal twelve step exposure I guess was different from the statistics. I have one sobriety date but that is my story and today I hear I am the exception and that is not how it works for everyone, but when I arrived I was never ever told drinking was an option. I had no idea that I could drink again, I guess I was done, I found a support system that was with me every day no matter what. I am grateful for that today I truly love all twelve step programs but they do have their flaws, after this exercise, I was stretched with have many more 12 step groups, I really enjoyed observing different type of meeting, people, and social experience and they all were not good.
My similarities and difference
Attending the variety of meeting I really saw the difference. The 12 steps are the same as the foundation for all 12 step programs but how it is applied and the perception of the problem. AA is the alcohol, NA is drugs and don’t say the A , Even with in AA from the YP, new comers mtg, and the old timer mtg, the message of recovery was different. The YP are amazing kids who created this tight community having their own club house, teaching each other acceptable behavior in the YP community and have created a special place to be when you don’t want to be alone. The newcomer mtg was disorganized with not a very solid recovery message but very cliché for the rowdy member the bikers and rebel kind of hang out at that meeting where the expectation of recovery was lower but they also where very tight, then the old timer meeting. Old timer are amazing and they carry the message that I have always heard and was taught but I guess because I got in the middle with solid recovery and got a network of people really doing the work. AA has a place for all you just have to find what fits.
As for Alanon, ACA, CODO through the twelve steps are similar the message is quite different. Alanon member trying setting boundaries with Alcoholics in their life. The meeting I went to the topic was silence which was interesting. What the subject was and what was shared was pick and choose the battle, stay silent when the Alcoholics is trying to fight, just stay silent, trying to fight with someone intoxicated in useless and will not lead anywhere. That was interesting topic to see how it was applied and understood in other people lives. Very meaningful how to stay safe and find some sort of peace in the chaos of the Alcoholics home. ACA the message was how the alcoholic parents did not parent us in healthy was and the result is we have to understand what was not given to us and reclaim our self and reparent ourselves from the damage of the alcoholic parent. In Alanon member seem to still be in the family system in ACA they are not and learning what was not received from the FOO.
CODO I enjoy the most the similarities might be the same twelve steps but they seem honest about healing from unhealthy relationships. CoDo focus was what behavior do we the member have in regarding to relationship. Codependent seem to need other to fix them, fill them, make them ok. Through the twelve step process boundaries get created and healthy alterative get created where members get their self-esteems and learning to live with healthy relationships. That viewpoint had personally had been seeing the benefits of a support group from health relations, compared to say AA that tends to stay out of your personal relationship and Alanon who tries to help with finding peace in the relationship.

COMMENT
I have always understood how the “family” was impacted and destroyed on a very personal level. This assignment allowed me to see the impact on community, on society, and on each 12 step member I encountered doing this assignment. Realizing the magnitude of the twelve steps, the diseases impact on so many people still in the home, others years later suffering as adults. I am amazed how the 12 steps have grown and are so helpful to others. I have heard many viewpoints of 12 steps programs and not all good. However something magically occurs when you receive the transformation when doing the steps in your life. With or without god, some say AA is too religious, I once again did not have that experience. My sponsor today says if you did for me what god did for me I would talk about you, I like that saying. My original sponsor told me since I said I was willing to do what was needed - get down on my knees, prayer to whatever to please help me stay alive today, she said because she told me and I said I was willing to do whatever, it was that simple, I did what was asked of me! Do I believe is not really that important as long as still to this day I just beg ever day to help me not die from drinking one day at a time and say thank you ever day for saving my life. It was taught to me that simple, I just wished others received that same message and felt the magic of AA like I have. AA saved my life and I am truly blessed.