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And I Opened the Big Squeaky Door

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Submitted By yumnaazhar
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And I Opened the Big Squeaky Door

I ran. I ran as fast as I could to escape the horrific murder I had just committed. I did not kill anyone. Well, at least I had no intentions to, it was not my fault. I did what I thought was right. She was the drunk driver responsible for killing my parents in a car crash accident. The root to all problems we ever encountered was her. It was essential for me to take revenge in the name of my beloved parents and try to ease my pain to an extent. Trying to escape from the situation I ran to my house from hers which was the distance of only four blocks. As I walked into my house, instead of feeling like as if I have accomplished a goal, I was still devastated and miserable. I guess not proud of what I did, strangely. I came across my room and opened the big squeaking door gradually.

As soon as I stepped in, I could see nothing until I turned the lights on and realized how I have tried to run away from myself. I wished I had left the lights switched off so I could prevent my mind from function. I could see the squiggly cracks on the big beige walls that evolved with time. I guess, similar our lives are, and no matter how strong the walls may be some cracks can just never go no matter how hard you try. I am running away from myself and my life. After staring into the walls for a couple of minutes I finally realized no matter how hard I try, nothing and absolutely nothing can bring my parents back. Their death to me is like the cracks on the wall, inevitable and irrevocable. I have got to be strong and sturdy like these walls and learn to face my problem. But it is definitely not as easy at it sounds.

As I walked more into my room, I could see my two favorite teddy bears lying near the pillow of my bed. My parents gifted me these soft toys three years back when I was ten years old for my birthday. I picked them up and could smell my parents. The velvety scent when through my nose and made feel my parents’ existence nearby. I held them tight and could feel tear drops falling down my face wetting the teddy bear. The room was chilled cold, but I could not be bothered enough to turn on the heater. I was shivering from head to toe as I sat on my bed holding a teddy bear in my hand. I forgot what being comfortable felt like especially around your loved ones.

I walked slowly up to my dresser and stared myself into the mirror hopelessly. I could see the blood spread all over my white clothes. I saw my baby pictures hung on my mirror with my parents. Oh how I wish time could fly back and I could prevent my parents from going to the grocery store that evening. At least they would have been alive with me here. It hurts when you cannot bring time back. They say time can heal almost any pain. However I disagree. In just a few seconds of time your loved ones can be taken away from you right in front of your eyes and you are left unable to do anything. These pictures made me nostalgic. I looked outside the window. The trees were covered in snow and frozen, unable to move around easy from the cold breeze. I was at least lucky enough to have some control over my life unlike that tree. There was one way to escape all this misery and be at peace. Suicide. Maybe after I die I would become numb to the guilt of killing the lady, who was responsible for killing my parents in the accident and the loss of my loved ones. I opened the drawers and pulled the trigger towards my head. Few minutes earlier while opening the squeaky door to my room I was unaware of the fact that this could be the last day of my life…

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